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I actually think you've already answered your question. You said:

"Do high grades really matter when it's a card you really want? I find myself always concentrating on high grades even when I like the card in a lower grade".

For me eye appeal trumps all and always will. The numerical grade given by some stranger has no value to me when I like the card for what it is and how it displays.
To many in my opinion place more emphasis on the flip, (grade given) rather than the card itself. Really silly when you stop and think about it!!