Dan - first would like to say sorry about what happened. This situation would upset me as well.
However, I don't want to speak for SGC, but I just had a similar discussion with Michael at a show this weekend when we were discussing crossing over my PSA registered set. The impression that I got was that they could take a quick look at the set and give a rough estimate if the majority would cross in the same grade before they started cracking out cards and charging for the grading.
I would think that something like this could have been arranged for your set before any of your cards were cracked out and you were charged any fees. If their initial assessment was that roughly half of your cards were clearly not close enough to make the grade, you could have kept them all in the PSA holders without any damage to your wallet. And, as previously mentioned, SGC doesn't really have any motive to not get cards out of PSA holders. They want as many cards in their holders as possible, but if they don't make the grade, it is probably because they truly don't believe that the condition warrants it.
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