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cmokingit doesn't mean any of you are wrong, but there are easy and logical ways to explain all of this:
1. I have submitted the same card twice myself...and at times they have received different grades. Does this mean one version of myself was getting favors from the grading company while the other version of myself wasn't? Of course not. The easy explanation is that some grading companies (might as well say PSA in particular) are inconsistent with their grading. Sometimes they grade too high, sometimes they grade too low. So if a card is submitted more than once, if the grading is inconsistent, then you'll see two different grades. This is not good...and is a problem specifically at PSA...but it doesn't mean when you see a dealer submit a card for you that they are getting favors. This doesn't mean that some people don't get favors ... but it's a simple explanation that doesn't need a conspiracy theory to why the same card can get different grades when submitted twice.
2. Do auctioneers get better grades when they submit cards for you? Or do they want to tell you that to make sure the cards are already in their hands? Are they worried that if you submit them yourself that you may change your mind and sell it to someone else instead of auctioning it off with them? They want your cards in their hands and have you sign on the dotted line. That's their business. I have not experienced cards in graded holders from major auctioneers being graded too high relative to the general population of cards.