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Posted By: warshawlaw

Throughout the ages, man has quested after beautiful and rare things. Whether it is women, money or drugs, the soul of a man cannot be truly fulfilled unless he has obtained more than his friends and neighbors. We at Mastronet aspire to fulfill the deepest needs of our clientele; after all, greed, for lack of a better word, is good and we endeavor at all times to leave you with the illusion that we care. In keeping with our philosophy, we now offer a lot so extraordinary, so unique, that the winner is sure to reach a transcendent state of fulfillment and bliss on inhaling the acid-neutralized aroma of the card. Witness the 9th wonder of the world, the Hughie "Eee-Yah" Jennings postcard. Found in a 100-year-old cereal box in the back room of a dry cleaning establishment in Sheboygan and whisked by bicycle to a physician's office in Madison where it was used for years as a rectal probe without recognition of its value, only to be uncovered by the syphilitic laboratory assistant Igor, the card is absolute gem mint except for writing, ink stamping, postal cancellation and a postage stamp, this unparalleled rarity offers a drawing of the Bengal great that our authenticators I.P. Frehley and Seymour Butz are 100% certain belongs in the catalgue raissone of the immortal Pablo Picasso. Mastronet will supply a certificate to the lucky purchaser attesting to the possible link between this image and something else. In light of the extreme rarity and desirability of this piece, the buyer's premium will be 27.987% and only cash will be accepted.

Voice over by that guy who plays a hotel clerk in I Love Lucy and says "Yes!" in about three octaves (The Great Gildersneeze on the radio).