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Posted By: Bill Cornell

The folks at Mastronet sent out an email today looking for a new employee. To quote them: "the qualified employee will need to have advanced experience in the grading of vintage card issues and be responsible for reviewing raw consignments for possible grading, writing and cataloging auction lots."

Since there are dozens of deserving candidates here, I thought we'd run a little contest for hopefuls. Here are the rules:

• Employ the best Mastro-speak you can summon up without actually quoting previous descriptions.
  
• 100 words or so, only.
  
• You must describe the unusual item below (an HM Taylor Hughie Jennings postcard).
  
• Hyperbole is encouraged.
  

The winner may get one of those standard "thanks, but we've found another qualified candidate" letters or more likely, nothing.