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Posted By: Anonymous

1. You voted for Bush.
2. You have taken a terrible beating in the stock market.
3. You are in a desperate search for an oracle that doubles as an investment advisor.

I might suggest a variation on the above 3 items with respect to our visitor.

1) He lives under a bush.
2) He has taken terrible beatings from his parents.
3) He is in a desperate search for an orifice that doubles as an investment advisor.