[Exhibitman]

Coming up on 30 years. When I am at a club doing a stand-up set and I announce how long I've been married, the women cheer and the men mutter "whoa, that's a long time." Tell me about it. If i'd killed her on our honeymoon, I'd already be on parole.

My parents were married 59 years. I think the last decade was out of spite. One wasn't going to give the other the satisfaction of surviving. They fought about everything. I once walked in on them fighting over who had the more expensive medication.

I like Kinison's line that if you've been married and end up in hell, you'll be bored. "Married twice, huh?", the Devil asks. "You want a job?"

Thanks, you've been a great audience. If you're gonna drive home drunk, watch for cops.