Today's a special treat because you don't often get to run into one of these creatures in the wild! The locked thread is one of the most interesting in the whole internet outback, but not much is known about the life of this fascinating beast. Now I'm going to teach you all about the stages of The Locked Thread's life. Come along!
1. First the thread is born into the internet outback full of hope and optimism, but it's gotta watch out! It's a dangerous place out here.
2. The other inhabitants of the outback start circling the thread, studying its every move. Will this thread be a friend or foe. The inhabitants start picking sides.
3. Oh crickey! A battle has taken form by The Locked Thread between two other inhabitants. These can get vicious and down under we call them "the battle for the last word."
4. The Battle for the Last word becomes the paramount thing in the life of The Locked Thread. These engagements can last for days and add mutiple pages to the thread. Now it can easy for other inhabitants to get sucked into these fights but they have to careful! These creatures battling for the last word are ornery fellas and they often have letters attached to their title following their name and they'll use that sharp education to cut down any bystanders wanting to join in the fun.
5. Someone posts a card.
6. Bored with current activities, some bystanders will try to return to their daily lives. Common activities in this section of the Outback include referencing Seinfeld and name dropping obscure 1940's Jazz performers born West of the Mississippi.
7. One inhabitant seeing the chaos the new thread has brought into the land, sees an opportunity for an easy meal and posts something as close to political as possible - but without being political - hoping to out a prey that just can't help but take the bait. But be careful matey the Apex Predator of the land is watching closely and his ban hammer can take out any inhabitant of these plains with one swing!
8. Oh no! The Battle for the Last Word has taken a turn. These two furry creatures have done forgotten what they were battling for and are now fighting over something else - usually meanings or interpretations. If we're lucky we'll see one of them quote Webster's Dictionary!
9. Weary from days of strain the new thread weakens. It grew to big to fast and now no one even knows what its place in this outback is even for...
10. Circling the new thread from the beginning, the Apex Predator of the land - The Mighty Moderator - mercifully puts it out of its misery and locks it forever. But don't worry friends, the Locked Thread served its purpose and is an important part of the internet outback's ecosystem. See you fellas next week!
Steve Irwin "The Crocodile Hunter" - Season 11 Episode 6. 2002