My mother was showing signs of dementia before COVID hit but my parents refused to deal with it. Then the pandemic and my father basically hid her from me for a year until she had a fall followed by a full-blown psychotic break, institutionalization and eventually death. Thankfully less than two years from the time we put her away.
Take care of yourself, first and foremost. You are useless if you are sick, stressed, and worn down. My parents went into decline and death in under 2 years and taking care of them aged me 10 years in 2.
I STRONGLY recommend you get an estate plan together immediately, while she has testamentary capacity. Video the signing and have her explain why she is making the bequests. Also, get a power of attorney as well as an advanced medical directive. These things will save you untold misery AND thousands of dollars in attorneys' fees. I had a client who refused to deal with the diagnosis and the family first had to go through the trouble of a conservatorship and then into the misery of intestate succession and probate.
If she gets to the point of institutionalization, think long and hard about it. There are basically two kinds of dementia patients: happy forgetters and agnoized sufferers. My mother was the latter. i sincerely wish we had put her into hospice when she was first diagnosed, rather than into 'memory care', because she had to live through the hell on earth of a broken and degenerating brain. She always took great pride in her appearance and image and demeanor and to be reduced as she was to a screeching, incontinent moonbat forced to do kiddie art projects when all she wanted was to stay in bed and drift away, it was just cruel. When they finally sent her to hospice it was a relief.
Not to bring you down, but you have to know there is no happy ending to dementia as it currently stands. Best to face up to that. The damage is progressive, irreversible and incurable. Frankly, after having watched her disease, if i am diagnosed with something similar to my mother I will punch my own ticket like Robin Williams did.
|