Unfortunately, that's the reality of collecting life. Your heart seems to be in the right place, wanting to support the brick and mortars, but it's a two-way street. The people you highlighted DON'T want to work with you to achieve a demonstrably reasonable outcome, so to them it's only a one-way street. I doubt anything will change.
The same thing happens at shows with the crazy pricing, so you gotta keep searching until you find that dealer who's happy to work with you. Not always easy to do, but those guys are out there.
My advice would be to make smaller, nearly insignificant vintage purchases from those shops, and see if that starts the ice breaking a bit. But the reality is, you are much more likely to find the cards you're seeking at 'normal' prices on-line if you spend the time expanding and honing your searches there.
Good luck. (BTW, we're all in that same boat.)
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