“There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.”
“All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.”
--Mark Twain
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
--Groucho
"In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem."
"Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out."
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."
"Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out."
--George Carlin
“Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?”
--Bill Burr
Thanks, you've been a great crowd. Enjoy Whitesnake.
