[JollyElm]

Soon, there will be an autograph fee structure provided for what each and every word in the English language would cost to have the player write it in the inscription. So, the handlers will consult the itemized list, add the fees together and then move you along to receive your personalized autograph.

For instance:

I would like to poke fun at my wife...who's a huge fan of his...so ask him to write, "To dear, sweet, Martha, wanna grab my bat?"

Word Fees:
To - $20 + capitalization fee of $10
dear - $30
sweet - $40
Martha - $75 + capitalization fee of $10
wanna - (combination of "want" and "to" = $35 + $20 minus the word combo discount of $5) $50
grab - $30
my - $20
bat - $50

Additional fees:
Punctuation (three commas @ $15 per, but it is buy 2 get one free today, and one question mark at $45) - $75
Blue Sharpie - $65
Eye contact made with player - $100

Total cost: $575 plus tax and player sitting fee to be added at checkout.