[Exhibitman]

That Tom Mabe thing made my eyes water I was laughing so hard.

When my daughter was little and we still had a landline I used to tell the telemarketer to hold and say to her "hold music" and put her on the phone. She would loudly sing an out of key weird tune ("la da da da. La da da da da da") until the telemarketer hung up.

At my office I get stock boiler rooms all the time. The best way to get rid of them is to ask them if they've accepted Jesus Christ as their lord and savior and offer to give them my testimony. They can't get off quickly enough and I never hear from that salesman again. Another thing I like to do is put them on hold and never come back. Some of the truly stupid ones will stay on the line patiently for several minutes. Sometimes I pull the "Dave's not here" bit from Cheech and Chong.
CHONG: Who is it?
CHEECH: It's ______ [salesman name; say "Dave" for the example]
CHONG: Who?
CHEECH: Dave
CHONG: Dave?
CHEECH: Yeah, Dave
CHONG: Dave's not here
CHEECH: What the hell? No, man, I am Dave, man.
CHONG: Who is it?
CHEECH: It's Dave!
CHONG: Who?
CHEECH: Dave! D-A-V-E!
CHONG: Dave?
CHEECH: Yeah, Dave!
CHONG: Dave?
CHEECH: Right, man. Dave. Now will you open up the door?
CHONG: Dave's not here