[SMPEP]

I see the court room now ...


Card Collector: PSA - Did you grade huge amounts of altered baseball cards?!


Judge: You don't have to answer that question!


PSA: I'll answer the question. You want answers?


Card Collector: I think I'm entitled to them.


PSA: You want answers?!


Card Collector: I want the truth!


PSA: You can't handle the truth!


Son, we live in a world that has baseball cards, and those cards have to be graded by men with plastic cases. Who's gonna do it? You, SGC? You, BGS? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for card collectors, and you curse PSA. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that card investor's financial loses, while substantial, probably were lessened; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves money.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me grading that baseball card -- you need me grading that baseball card.

We use words like "alteration," "conservation," and "authenticity." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent grading baseball cards. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very grading services that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a loupe and grade your own cards. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you're entitled to!


Card Collector: Did you grade huge amounts of altered baseball cards?!


PSA: I did the job--


Card Collector: -- Did you grade huge amounts of altered baseball cards?!


PSA: YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I DID!!!