[Butch7999]

No domes. Open-air ballparks only.
No artificial turf. Real grass only.
No tediously long commercial breaks. One minute maximum between each half-inning except the 7th.
No Major League teams in Florida or Arizona. Those states are for spring training. Support your minor-league team.
No view-obscuring netting around the whole damn ballpark. Get off the cellphone and pay attention to the game.
No DHs. Pitchers learn to hit or get pulled for a PH. Nobody pitches more than three innings at time now anyways.
No extended warm-ups for relief pitchers. Three-pitch warm-up limit after entering game from bullpen.
No yard-wide strike zone. If it ain't over the plate it ain't a strike.
No pajama pants. Sanis and stirrups for everybody.
No gloves bigger than a bushel basket. Ten-inch limit on all gloves and mitts.
No Duck Dynasty beards, no billygoat beardlets, no Wall Street yuppie stubble. Moustaches and sideburns of any size or style okay.
No bat-flipping. Flip a bat after getting a hit and an opponent is allowed to throw a bat at you from ten feet away.
No sushi, champagne, kale, calamari, wine coolers, or any of that trendy crap at the concessions.
Hot dogs, burgers, pizza, beef on weck, nachos, popcorn, pretzels, beer, and cola only, all priced reasonably.

----------------------------------------

Upon further review (one day later):
Forgot to add three things to our original post -- "No regular-season interleague play," as many others have since said;
and "No extra charge for scorecard and pencil -- both are freebies with purchase of reasonably-priced game programme;"
and we left "Ice cream" off our list of of acceptable concession items, preferably the flavourless little styrofoam-pellet ice cream
served in those little plastic collectible souvenir batting helmets.