Had me hook, line, and sinker! The only things that seemed odd were the name of the store (in Alabama??) and the "disturbing calls and hang-ups", but, in the end, that just added to the humor factor.
I realize that many are checking the forums on phones, so that's why they likely missed it, but I had to laugh at some of the follow-up comments congratulating you on the great score, despite the fact you gave up the gag immediately.
Well done!