Are there Ramlys in your family?
Are there Coupons in your store?
Are your dockmen eating caramels
Down by the Jersey shore?

Are your borders gold or white
With tobacco stains galore?
“You’re just a prewar hoarder,”
Quoth da leon, “Evermore”

What color is a turkey
Or the edge on a two ten?
And if you said red
you’d be right again

But if you think a stripper
Dances in the nude,
You’re not a prewar hoarder
And you’ll be roundly booed

Are there Ramlys in your family?
Are there Coupons in your store?
Are your dockmen eating caramels
Down by the Jersey shore?

Are your borders gold or white
With tobacco stains galore?
“You’re just a prewar hoarder,”
Quoth da leon, “Evermore”

If you have some Goudeys,
And more than just a few,
Ya know their prior owners
Had a big league chew.

We don’t fear the Monster
Yet collect the monster bits
But da challenge of it all
Gives us monster “fits”

Are there Ramlys in your family?
Are there Coupons in your store?
Are your dockmen eating caramels
Down by the Jersey shore?

Are your borders gold or white
With tobacco stains galore?
“You’re just a prewar hoarder,”
Quoth da leon, “Evermore”

The hobby has its heroes
from N’orleans to Duluth
Cobb, Young and Matty
and that boy named “Ruth”

Remember if you join us
Your life wont be the same
OJ’s not for breakfast
and deadball is our game

Are there Ramlys in your family?
Are there Coupons in your store?
Are your dockmen eating caramels
Down by the Jersey shore?

Are your borders gold or white
with tobacco stains galore?
“You’re just a prewar hoarder,”
quoth da leon, “Evermore”