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Not a pic but damn funny.:)

I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.
“Take the high road,” I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own.
The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed I had repaid her rudeness with a kindness.
When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.

Now she has to go back to the end of the line start all over.
As they say… Paybacks a bitch but it sure feels good🤣

I wasn't expecting the end! Good joke!

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Only in Texas:

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These are really old but they still make me laugh

Here's some more

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Now this is funny.:)

This killed my weekend plans!!

:(

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I'm 58 years old and I had no idea what WAP was, so I Googled it.

It's a song by Cardi B.

I've taken the liberty of copying & pasting the lyrics below.


"I said, certified freak
Seven days a week
Wet ass pussy
Make that pull-out game weak, woo
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy
Give me everything you got for this wet ass pussy
Beat it up, nigga, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this pussy right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card
Hop on top, I wanna ride
I do a kegel while it's inside
Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes
This pussy is wet, come take a dive
Tie me up like I'm surprised
Let's role play, I wear a disguise
I want you to park that big Mack truck
Right in this little garage
Make it cream, make me scream
Out in public, make a scene
I don't cook, I don't clean
But let me tell you how I got this ring (ayy, ayy)
Gobble me, swallow me, drip down inside of me
Quick jump out 'fore you let it get inside of me
I tell him where to put it, never tell him where I'm 'bout to be
I run down on him 'fore I have a nigga running me
Talk your shit, bite your lip
Ask for a car while you ride that dick (while you ride that dick)
You really ain't never gotta fuck him for a thang
He already made his mind up 'fore he came
Now get your boots and your coat
For this wet ass pussy
He bought a phone just for pictures
Of this wet ass pussy
Pay my tuition just to kiss me
On this wet ass pussy
Now make it rain if you wanna
See some wet ass pussy
Look, I need a hard hitter, I need a deep stroker
I need a Henny drinker, I need a weed smoker
Not a garden snake, I need a king cobra
With a hook in it, hope it lean over
He got some money, then that's where I'm headed
Pussy A1, just like his credit
He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it
I let him taste it, now he diabetic
I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp
I wanna gag, I wanna choke
I want you to touch that little dangly dang
That swang in the back of my throat
My head game is fire, punani Dasani
It's going in dry and it's coming out soggy
I ride on that thang like the cops is behind me
I spit on his mic and now he tryna sign me, woo
Your honor, I'm a freak bitch, handcuffs, leashes
Switch my wig, make him feel like he cheating
Put him on his knees, give him something to believe in
Never lost a fight, but I'm looking for a beating
In the food chain, I'm the one that eat ya
If he ate my ass, he's a bottom feeder
Big D stand for big demeanor
I could make you bust before I ever meet ya
If it don't hang, then he can't bang
You can't hurt my feelings, but I like pain
If he fuck me and ask, "Whose is it?"
When I ride the dick, I'ma spell my name
Ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy
Give me everything you got for this wet ass pussy
Now from the top, make it drop
That's some wet ass pussy
Now get a bucket and a mop
That's some wet ass pussy
I'm talking WAP, WAP, WAP
That's some wet ass pussy
Macaroni in a pot
That's some wet ass pussy, uh
(There's some whores in this house)
(There's some whores in this house)"
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Austin J. Owens / Belcalis Almanzar / Frank Rodriguez / James III Foye / Jorden Thorpe / Megan J. Pete
WAP lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC



WONDERFUL.



As a side note.......

A couple of months ago, I watched Cardi B on TV in a public service announcement commercial. She had a very thick Hispanic accent that made her difficult to understand, so I Googled her to see where she was born.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that she was born, and has lived, in the USA (Bronx, NY) her entire life.

UNBELIEVABLE.

Now, of course, I will be labeled as a racist by many for my view on this.

Look and see who she endorses, and who the other one was who chose her, (for something important coming up for you guys), to be a spokesperson for. Unbelievable. :eek:

One of the funniest memes floating around Facebook at the moment is something to the effect of, "Last Christmas they forced "Baby, It's Cold Outside" off of the airwaves...this year, "WAP" is the number one song in the country. Let that sink in."

Scroll back up to post #73.

Yowza! Talk about being a tad bit late to the party. My apologies to Irv. :cool:

No worries and no need to apologize, Darren.

It happens to the best of us. :)

:D

Cats

I always feel bad for him, but I always root against himhttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...73018d0db4.jpg

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Not a picture, but I picked these up years ago at a mortgage lenders convention. The company was advertising their new "jumbo" mortgages and giving out these rubber "squishy" toys. With the baseball theme, I couldn't resist taking them, but now I wonder if they are politically correct this decade.

Those are cool. Don't worry, the PC warriors will change what is and isn't PC very soon.:)

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Not a picture but seriously funny, especially the USPS part.:D

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills, ambition, or work ethic.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, longtime AWNAA supporters. "This is why many of them voted for us. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

President Obama pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and fast food restaurants (65%).

President Obama has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of Nonabled persons for top government positions, including many cabinet-level jobs. Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire two clueless workers for every one talented hire.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her chronic incompetence. "This new law should really help people like me."

Once this bill is signed into law, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Mr. Obama, "It is our duty as national leaders to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

THIS IS HUMOR SO PLEASE NO SILLY POLITICAL COMMENTS.:D

That's really funny Ben, because it sounds so believable.

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Some of my favorites

The support dog is awesome.:D

I laughed too. I like THE ONION.

It is believable. It's called the universal income, it's still just a theory, and individuals would be paid simply for breathing. They voted on it in Switzerland, and it did not pass. But as more jobs are lost to automation, liberal economists believe that the universal income will become necessary. It's phased out based on income. It's believed that wealthier countries will have to eventually pass legislation like this, or expand social welfare to support the members of society who have been left behind by an automated society.

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I don't understand how unemployment was at a record low before the pandemic. It seems to me that however much automation is developed, there will always be productive things (jobs) for people to do.

Since we are going there.:D The problem is that the population is getting dumber/lazier by the second. You don't see a doctor and a lawyer that are married having several kids. Unfortunately it is Cleatus and Velvita having 8 kids in the trailer park.

^This^ is part of a Chris Porter joke.:D

If you like stand up check Chris out he is hilarious.

If you pay people to sit on the couch, millions of people will take you up on the offer and sit on the couch.

Since sitting on the couch requires no education or effort of any kind, there will be no incentive for these people to not become (or remain) dumb and lazy. All they will need to know is which candidates are promising the most freebies.

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I'm not saying I agree with it, just that the funny article posted is based on a real economic theory that has actually been voted on in a real country (Switzerland).

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