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AdamBaxterSomehow I had a feeling the link would'nt come out right! :P
Fans Stop at Nothing to Get a Slice of Sports History
LeBron, Jordan Are Focus of Latest eBay Craze
By JIM ARMSTRONG, AOL Exclusive
A friend of mine, formerly of sound mind and body, spends most of his time searching for sports collectibles on eBay. Basically, he bids on anything that has anything to do with his beloved Celtics, Red Sox or Bruins. Too bad Bobby Orr, the greatest defenseman of them all, didn't save some of his knee ligaments. My buddy would have been all over those babies.
AP
What do you figure LeBron's towel is worth?
Then came the phone call to end all phone calls. My friend had bought a car. On eBay. No really, I'm not making this up. He figured he saved four or five hundred bucks compared to what he would have paid at a car lot or through a classified ad in The Denver Post.* (*--shameless, unnecessary plug for my full-time employer)
He then proceeded to buy a one-way ticket to Tulsa to pick up his new sled. Of course, he had to burn two vacation days so he could drive it back to Denver. And, of course, he had to get a hotel room on the road because, after flying to Oklahoma, he was too tired to do an all-nighter.
I didn't have the heart to ask him what a one-way ticket to Tulsa and a room at the Motel 6 in West Rumproast, Kan. cost. Nor did I mention that gas is more expensive than filet mignon. What, you thought I was going to tell him he could have spent those two vacation days taking his kids to the zoo instead of seeing the bright lights of Oklahoma? Not me.
I told him what any friend would tell a friend. I told him I thought he got a great deal. It wasn't until I got home that night that I told my wife we had to stop socializing with idiots.
I'm only telling you this because the profs at taxidermy school told me never to begin a column with a confession. But since I'm going to have to tell you sooner or later, I might as well do it now. See, I've never been on eBay. In fact, I'm not sure if it's eBay or ebay or Ebay. I could look it up, I suppose, but copy editors have families to feed, too.
I know, I know, you're thinking I'm some kind of weirdo because I've never spent half a vacation scrolling down the laundry list of sports collectibles that eBay(?) has to offer. Go ahead, call me a dinosaur. I've been called worse, you know. Truth is, I think this whole ebay(?) sports-collecting craze is a silly waste of time.
Now that I'm on a roll, I've got another confession to make. It's not that I've never been on Ebay(?) I hadn't been on it, but my editor at AOL told me I had to check it out before I wrote this column. So, intrepid reporter that I am, I dialed it up. Frankly, you're better off going to those Websites with the dirty pictures.
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Why do people do it? Why do they sit there for hours on end and bid on junk? Did I say junk? Some of this stuff is an insult to junk. They couldn't pay me to take it off their hands.
One random glance produced three listings of ''game-used'' equipment worn by some football player named Zack Crockett. Among the items were a football, a pair of gloves and a headband. Now if old Zack's jock strap had been in there, we could have talked. We're talking a piece of Americana there, bubba. I'm assuming, since it wasn't on the list, somebody went ahead and sent it straight to the Smithsonian.
Among the other listings was one for Carmelo Anthony ''memorabilia.'' The kid is 20. He's still on his first disposable razor. How can he qualify for memorabilia?
Apparently, there are nuts out there who'll collect anything at any cost. One anonymous buyer recently paid $150,100 for a basketball card featuring LeBron James and Michael Jordan. Hey, if I paid 150 grand for a basketball card, I wouldn't want anybody to know who I was, either. They might try to sell me some oceanfront property in Wyoming.
The ebay(?) scrapheap goes on and on. One hockey card opened at $0.99, but had skyrocketed to $1.04 by the time I saw it. On the other end of the spectrum, you've got Jeff Nelson's bone chips. Nelson, a Major League reliever of considerable note, had his elbow operated on two years ago and decided to put the bone chips on Ebay(?) for laughs.
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So what happened? To paraphrase Mark Twain, never underestimate the intelligence of the American people when they're sitting in front of a laptop. The bidding had reached $23,600 when eBay officials stepped in and ended the charade. According to the statement issued by the company, eBay(?) ''has a portion of its listing guidelines which covers human parts and remains.''
Whew! For a minute there, I thought we might be seeing Ted Williams' head listed. Don't laugh. Ty Cobb's wooden dentures were listed a few years ago. Brett Favre's Porsche was on the market for 46 grand earlier this year. Then there's the biggest waste of money since the L.A. District Attorney's office tried to prosecute O.J.
A couple of years ago, some Ebay(?) aficionado paid $10,000 for a piece of gum that Arizona Diamondbacks outfielder Luis Gonzalez had chewed and spit out. Ten grand for a used piece of chewing gum?
Maybe my buddy didn't get such a bad deal after all.
08-01-2004, 10:28 PM
Interesting AOL article on Sports Memorabilia
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