Fun topic: New guy hazing

[Joshchisox08]

Watching the Sox and Angels game. Jerry Sands has had a bubble, blown from bubble gum on the top of his hat for a couple innings now.

Steve Stone just got asked a list of some new guy hazing, at which he replied some of them are so nice we can't mention them on the air.

So anyone have any hazing stories? Funny? Awful? Cruel?

Your own stories or Major League stories !!!

[GoCubsGo32]

Had to wear a thong,sports bra, and hello kitty backpack. Had to also sing outloud a Backstreet Boys or *NSync song...it was pretty light in comparison to some of the others,lol

[mattsey9]

There is a statue of a cavalry general on horseback in Lincoln Park, Chicago. The horse is anatomically correct.

For decades, Giants rookies in town for the first time have painted the horse's testicles orange as their veteran teammates urge them on after the bars have closed. As they are finishing, the Chicago P.D. shows up to arrest the players.

The CPD has been in on the gag from the start, and after letting the rookies sweat for a few minutes they let them in on the joke.

[Dewey]

Hazing is for shriveled egos looking to feel powerful, unless it's the Dodgers making rookies take San Fran trolleys in super hero costumes. That's just funny.

[DHogan]

At the naval air station I was at, they sent a new kid for a bucket of prop wash, 100 yards of flight line and a left handed wrench.

[Joshchisox08]

Originally Posted by mattsey9

There is a statue of a cavalry general on horseback in Lincoln Park, Chicago. The horse is anatomically correct.

For decades, Giants rookies in town for the first time have painted the horse's testicles orange as their veteran teammates urge them on after the bars have closed. As they are finishing, the Chicago P.D. shows up to arrest the players.

The CPD has been in on the gag from the start, and after letting the rookies sweat for a few minutes they let them in on the joke.

Now that's a classic!

[toledo_mudhen]

Scout Troop back in the day used to do a "winter camp" every year. Would routinely send guys out in the middle of the night for "buckets of steam", left handed monkey wrenchs" and "tapered Johnson bars"

[53Browns]

When I was a lowly pledge in my fraternity back in the day they blindfolded us and led us by the hand into the gym barefoot as our feet were walking on crunchy objects they then yelled it was broken glass and if we dont keep walking we cant pledge in. Turned out to be corn flakes. Amazing what the mind can make you believe in moments like that. Felt like broken glass to me boy-o!

[Pilot172000]

What I vaguely remember about my pledge night in college involved being blindfolded in the woods for a very long time.

[steve B]

It's really old fashioned now, and probably not allowed in larger companies. But every industry has it's things.

The print shop did a little but more of a "We've decided you're Ok so we'll include you in pranks" sort of hazing. The really traditional one was to tell you that the printing ink heated up as you mixed the color and you could tell it was ready by holding your hand over the ink to feel how warm it was. Of course then the guy would slap your hand into the ink.

Being picked up and put in one of the waste paper bins. Not bad, they were just big cloth boxes on wheels. They'd put the ink which was really sticky on something you handled but where you couldn't see it. The backs of the handles on the press were prime places. You'd get the ink on your hand, then every itch or anything you had got inked. That usually lasted till someone just couldn't keep a straight face. It was banned after someone did it to all the drawer pulls on the bosses desk.


In Hydraulics you weren't a "real" mechanic until you'd been soaked by oil spraying out of something. (Trapped air which is common in some broken stuff can make a really impressive spray of oil if it's not released properly)
They tried maybe three times, but didn't catch me. Then there was a baler with trapped air and the boss removed the valve. I happened to be standing in the one spot shielded from spray by one of the bolts holding it down. (Picture a basically round spray of oil but with one pizza slice shaped bit where nothing went. )
Finally I had to go to the airport to pick up a hose. Pretty cool right? I got to drive out to the truck which was between two taxiways. And that truck was parked over a small pond of leaked oil. The hose was underneath the truck. So I had a bit of a swim. Totally soaked. After a bit of cleanup and finishing the last bit of the day we all went out for beer.

Steve B

[DHogan]

I went to an agricultural high school and lived in the dorm. As freshman initiation, the seniors had us walk thru the manure pit with about 2' of fresh manure in it.

[iwantitiwinit]

Pledge night they blindfolded us ripped our shirts off, wrote sigma p.. ep..... on our chests in Greeks letters using a liquid absorbine Jr and set it on fire. 40 pledges with burnt chest hair is not a pretty sight or smell.

[GasHouseGang]

When I saw the topic, I honestly thought you meant new guys to the board. I was waiting to see how you were going to haze the latest members of Net54.

[btcarfagno]

My senior year on the college baseball team we had this freshman join us. Mouthy little son of a gun. Good player but nearly as good as he seemed to think he was. Always bragging, picking fights for no reason. Just a real douche. So we head down for our spring Florida trip. This jackass is just running his mouth the entire flight down. We couldn't take it anymore.

One of the seniors bought some sort of bag at a grocery store that was meant to keep your food warm inside. About the size of a shopping bag but had some sort of insulation/aluminum foil/some such thing on the inside. There were five of us who were seniors, and before the first practice, each one of us took turns...uh....defecating into the bag. We placed the bag on the radiator inside the room, opened the curtains, and turned the heat up full blast. That thing baked in there for about 14 hours until we got back to our rooms. we told his roommate to stay back with us, watched as he entered the room and closed the door. We sent our huge catcher to the door to hold it so he couldn't come out. I've never heard such screams in my life. The guy was crying, puking, pleading to be let out. Finally we let him out. He just stumbled down the hallway. Retching the entire time.

We quickly destroyed the "evidence" and filed back to our rooms. He didn't tel the coach though, and after that he was much more subdued and a much better teammate.

Ah. Those crazy college days.

Tom C

[Pilot172000]

Originally Posted by btcarfagno

My senior year on the college baseball team we had this freshman join us. Mouthy little son of a gun. Good player but nearly as good as he seemed to think he was. Always bragging, picking fights for no reason. Just a real douche. So we head down for our spring Florida trip. This jackass is just running his mouth the entire flight down. We couldn't take it anymore.

One of the seniors bought some sort of bag at a grocery store that was meant to keep your food warm inside. About the size of a shopping bag but had some sort of insulation/aluminum foil/some such thing on the inside. There were five of us who were seniors, and before the first practice, each one of us took turns...uh....defecating into the bag. We placed the bag on the radiator inside the room, opened the curtains, and turned the heat up full blast. That thing baked in there for about 14 hours until we got back to our rooms. we told his roommate to stay back with us, watched as he entered the room and closed the door. We sent our huge catcher to the door to hold it so he couldn't come out. I've never heard such screams in my life. The guy was crying, puking, pleading to be let out. Finally we let him out. He just stumbled down the hallway. Retching the entire time.

We quickly destroyed the "evidence" and filed back to our rooms. He didn't tel the coach though, and after that he was much more subdued and a much better teammate.

Ah. Those crazy college days.

Tom C

remind me to never piss you off....

[begsu1013]

oh god. bringing back some funny and painful college memories...

butter the floor
releasing 100 crickets in the bedroom. (no sleep for about a week)
baby powder on top of the fan blades. (then comes home and turns it on)
car on blocks the night before an 8am mid term
saran wrapping the toilet
the ol zip tie around the driveshaft

[btcarfagno]

Originally Posted by Pilot172000

remind me to never piss you off....

Tom C

[Pilot172000]

Originally Posted by begsu1013

oh god. bringing back some funny and painful college memories...

butter the floor
releasing 100 crickets in the bedroom. (no sleep for about a week)
baby powder on top of the fan blades. (then comes home and turns it on)
car on blocks the night before an 8am mid term
saran wrapping the toilet
the ol zip tie around the driveshaft

Wrapping the first friend to pass out at the party in Cellophane and Toilet paper was guaranteed at our house. We also didn't just put butter on the floor, we mixed it with ground Cayenne pepper. Even if you had socks on it would leach through and burn like Hades. The smell alone would bring tears to your eyes.

[ZachS]

I spent 8 years in the submarine force... I've seen hazing the likes of which you wouldn't believe.

[KCRfan1]

Do tell Zach, inquiring minds want to know!

[EvilKing00]

Originally Posted by mattsey9

There is a statue of a cavalry general on horseback in Lincoln Park, Chicago. The horse is anatomically correct.

For decades, Giants rookies in town for the first time have painted the horse's testicles orange as their veteran teammates urge them on after the bars have closed. As they are finishing, the Chicago P.D. shows up to arrest the players.

The CPD has been in on the gag from the start, and after letting the rookies sweat for a few minutes they let them in on the joke.

Lol thats awesome, never knew that

[smotan_02]

We never called it hazing at West Point, always "leader development". Everything was meant to teach you attention to detail, memorization, and reacting under stress.

My first year was full of "pinging" around campus, only allowed to use 4 responses when talking to upper classmen/women ("Yes Sir/Ma'am, No Sir/Ma'am, No Excuse Sir/Ma'am, Sir/Ma'am, I do not understand), and reciting pages and pages of knowledge. This was in addition to a grueling academic schedule, that as a product of the Alabama public high school system, I wasn't quite ready for.

The moment that always sticks out in my mind happened every morning at breakfast. Our tables were groups of ten people and were a mixture of freshman through seniors. Usually 2-3 freshman (plebes) were at a table and they had an assortment of duties to complete at the start of every meal. These include prepping the dishes, ensuring condiments were open, and then announcing meals. We were not allowed to eat until these duties were done and the upperclassmen liked to include a few questions for good measure.

The one that I will forever remember and felt that it was the most asinine thing I've ever done is the response to when an upperclassmen asks: "How's the Cow?"

"Sir- she walks, she talks, she's full of chalk
The lacteal fluid extracted from the female of the bovine species
Is highly prolific to the 'n'th degree"

All of this to tell the upperclassman how many of the small elementary school style milk containers were remaining on the table (N=number of milks remaining).

My next "favorite" was..."Cadet, what is the definition of leather?"

"Sir- the definition of leather. If the fresh skin of an animal, cleaned and divested of all hair, fat, and other extraneous matter, be immersed in a dilute solution of tannic acid, a chemical combination ensues; the gelatinous tissue of the skin is converted into a nonputrescible substance, impervious to and insoluble in water; this is leather."

Ahhh...the days (not hours) of my life I will never get back from reciting that stuff. I will say that it taught me to process, understand, and recall data in a stressful environment while showing no stress or emotion. It directly helped me later in life when I became a jumpmaster in an army airborne unit and helped exit America's finest from a perfectly good aircraft as well as dealing with stress in both Iraq and Afghanistan.

I'm fairly certain we have some other West Point and Annapolis grads on here and I cant wait for the: "Well in my day..." responses.

[ZachS]

Originally Posted by KCRfan1

Do tell Zach, inquiring minds want to know!

Sorry... just saw this. There are so many and some probably best left unsaid. I'll throw out a few of my favorites that are PG rated.

- Guys would always try to lose weight on deployment. You weren't drinking beer or eating fast food and there wasn't really much else to do. Underway we wore poopy suits (Navy coveralls) and a web belt. It was a popular past time to find one of the "I'm losing weight" guys and secretly cut a little off his web belt over the course of a few weeks. He would eat right and work out but would get frustrated because his belt kept getting tighter.

- New guys were NUBs (Non Useful Bodies... or in the kindler gentler Navy a New Underway Buddy). One of my NUBs came down while I was on watch and wanted to do some qual checkouts. I found a random gauge and started tapping on it and told him he'd have to wait because the DCA was full.

OK so the military LOVES acronyms. On submarines there are many different tanks that hold various liquids. So this NUB just figured that the DCA was another tank somewhere and that it was full. I told him that he could help me out by going up to Control and getting permission from the OOD (Officer of the Deck) to blow the DCA (we frequently used air to blow the contents of a tank overboard).

So this NUB goes up to Control, walks up to the OOD, and says "Sir, request permission to blow the DCA". The next thing I know I'm getting a phone call from the OOD telling me to knock it off. See the OOD was my division officer, the Damage Control Assistant... otherwise known as the DCA.


- And one of my all-time favorites. There aren't that many black guys on submarines and it always seems like they are very, very, very homophobic... which of course means they get the brunt of the gay jokes. We had this black guy named Sammy that would lose it anytime someone did anything that could be considered remotely gay in his mind. One day as he's walking into the lower level shower in nothing but a towel a few of us started whistling at him and making him uncomfortable. My LPO waits for him to get into the shower (submarine showers are like a vertical coffin with an accordion style door), then he strips down buck naked, opens the shower door and climbs in with Sammy. I have never before or since heard screaming like that.

[Enfuego]

Every time I would deploy overseas, my partner and I would come up with ingenious ways to send everyone home with a bang. Example, 1 week before our group was scheduled to fly home, we went to our dining facility and I asked a friend to bake me a cake as a go away gift for our mechanics. So whole he was working the cake, I ninja'ed my way to our Aid Station and asked a battle buddy for a bottle of laxative and a 12 gauge needle. So after about 2 hours, we checked on the cake and once it was done, we injected about a half bottle of laxative and gave the cake to our mechanics...to find out that the following day the maintenance section was shut down because there was no one who could spend a solid 30 min on a vehicle without rushing to he bathroom was priceless.

Eventually we ended up confessing and got beat up about it, it was our way of sending our brothers and sisters in arms home with a bang!

[Koufax32fan]

Maybe the best hazing ever was that one time that someone convinced someone else to post on a public forum a thread questioning the hall of fame credentials of one of the greatest and most beloved baseball players of all time.

[KCRfan1]

That's funny Zach!

Really enjoying the stories, and it's been a great way to begin my day! Always good to laugh!!!

You are spot on Mike Koufax32fan!

[PowderedH2O]

When I was in the Air Force we did things all the time to new guys. I remember one time we were rewiring a harness inside of a plane and I ran out of the tubing that the wires went into. I "called" the tool crib and found out that they were out, so I told my newbie that the tool crib was out and that he would have to get into his car and drive to the base hospital, because they had some there. I wrote down what we needed and off he went. About 30 minutes later I got a call from the nurses at the OB/Gyn. They were laughing hysterically, but they told me that they weren't going to be able to fill my order for 60 feet of fallopian tubing.