Alteration vs. Conservation Defined in Medicine

[frankbmd]

In defense of my profession and the bad rap being given to doctors on Net54 in recent weeks, it seems appropriate to define alteration, restoration and conservation from a medical perspective. Feel free to comment or disagree with my rather arbitrary assertions:

1. Plastic Surgeon - a surgical specialty involved in the removal of wrinkles and creases surgically. By using augmentative or reductive procedures the overall shape of the client can be altered in ways that can be difficult to detect. Skin grating can be utilized to restore traumatic losses of skin to preserve function and improve appearance. These practitioners perform activities in all three categories.

2. General Surgeon - a surgical specialty involved with restoring individuals to original health by repairing organs (conservation) or removing diseased organs (alteration). The goal is to restore the client to their previous state of health before the problem (disease) began.

3. Ophthalmologist - a specialist devoted primarily to increasing primarily eye appeal and restoration of visual acuity. This of course may require insertion a foreign body (alteration) when dealing with cataracts.

4. Dermatologist - a specialist in the treatment and restoration of "surface" issues, whether by shaving, chemical peel or laser ablation. The goal here is often to improve the subject to a better state than their original "factory" condition.

5. Orthopedics - a surgical specialty that often splints "broken" clients with casting, whether with plastic, fiberglass or plaster. These techniques may be permanent or amenable to splint removal and repair using invasive techniques of anatomic alteration.

6. Liposuction - trimming plain and simple.

7. Radiologist - PSA screeners with access only to conventional X-rays who are denied utilization of CAT, MRI and the more advanced studies. Their hands are tied because they face a stack of films to read every day that is six feet high.

8. General Practice - Ted Z an older doctor with knowledge, but lacking corruptive influences.

9. Transplantation - Organ swapping or radical alteration.

10. Rehabilitative Medicine - Soaking and or pressing designed to restore the client to original functionality.

11. HMOs - Organizations similar to auction houses who lure clients into contracts for their loyalty by offering incentives (Registry, Marketplace, Vault, Tax avoidance), often with glitzy catalogs, but in reality offer a lower level of conservation for their clients, the result of which is higher cost and questionable integrity.

There are others of course such as obstetrics, where reprints are delivered and pathology which can result in criminal indictments. Feel free to comment or supplement these definitions.

[Goudey77]

Thanks for the write up Frank. Very informative!

[tschock]

You missed Psychiatrists, Frank.

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by tschock

You missed Psychiatrists, Frank.

Proctologists. I could try something, but I won't go there.

[brianp-beme]

12. Anesthesiologist - Practitioner employed prior surgeries and other medical alterations to administer placating drugs (Card Grading, Registry, tax-free Vaults, Shiny Stickers, World Record Prices) in order to render the patient blissfully unaware of the procedures being performed right before their unseeing eyes.

BrianP(arker)-beme

[JeremyW]

Originally Posted by brianp-beme

12. Anesthesiologist - Practitioner employed prior surgeries and other medical alterations to administer placating drugs (Card Grading, Registry, tax-free Vaults, Shiny Stickers, World Record Prices) in order to render the patient blissfully unaware of the procedures being performed right before their unseeing eyes.

BrianP(arker)-beme

That's where the real money is at.

[frankbmd]

Originally Posted by tschock

You missed Psychiatrists, Frank.

Indeed, delusion among registry enthusiasts is an epidemic, that they think is good for the hobby.

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

Proctologists. I could try something, but I won't go there.

The recto-vaginal septum separates the excrement from the vault. Peter made me say it.

Originally Posted by brianp-beme

12. Anesthesiologist - Practitioner employed prior surgeries and other medical alterations to administer placating drugs (Card Grading, Registry, tax-free Vaults, Shiny Stickers, World Record Prices) in order to render the patient blissfully unaware of the procedures being performed right before their unseeing eyes.

BrianP(arker)-beme

How did I miss this one? A mind numbing experience with a protracted hangover. And don't forget the stickers you find for the cardiac monitoring that are never all removed after the procedure.

[Peter_Spaeth]

Gynecologist -- specialist in reproductions.

[frankbmd]

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

Gynecologist -- specialist in reproductions.

Too late Peter, was the original post too long for you to finish.

"There are others of course such as obstetrics, where reprints are delivered and pathology which can result in criminal indictments. Feel free to comment or supplement these definitions."

[sando69]

seems to me that you need to come out of retirement...
as, you obviously have way too much time on your hands...

[Peter_Spaeth]

Originally Posted by sando69

seems to me that you need to come out of retirement...
as, you obviously have way too much time on your hands...

Better he do this than operate on actual patients.

[frankbmd]

Originally Posted by Peter_Spaeth

Better he do this than operate on actual patients.

Yup, I wouldn't want to rely on you to defend me.

[frankbmd]

I suppose Chiropractors might be guilty of participating in restorative adjustments that would be difficult to detect.