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Old 03-13-2009, 10:24 AM
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Default kudos once again to Barry Sloate..

Posted By: MVSNYC

-Barry's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

-If Barry round-house kicks you, you will die. If Barry misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.

-In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Barry Sloate.

-Everybody loves Raymond. Except Barry Sloate.

-Barry can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.

-Barry doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

-Barry doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

-The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Barry Sloate entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.

-The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Barry in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

-Staring at Barry for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

-One time, Barry Sloate accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

-Barry Sloate can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

-Barry Sloate has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

-If you were somehow able to land a punch on Barry Sloate, your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

-Barry Sloate uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

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