HAHA! Great parody card, Joel, and nice reference to Spinal Tap.
And nice real cards, Michael. As stated, the Wagner could go up to PSA 5 if crease/wrinkle-free. The Evers is real nice, too, although the upper crease could put it into a PSA 2 holder if graded. The nice thing is neither of your cards are red back, so this find shouldn't affect their value too much.