[Snapolit1]

Scott,
I don't know you so am hesitant to give advice or tell you what to do. But from the history of your posts, which now go back several years, it's clear you need professional help as things don't seem to be turning around for you. Find in the yellow pages a walk in mental health or other kind of facility where someone can help you understand your issues, whatever they might be. When you've been living behind the 8 ball for years it's not just a matter of bad luck. Most towns no matter how small have some resource you can avail yourself of. Something is holding you back from getting out from under this and I'm sure your problems are nothing they haven't seen before. I have a good buddy who from your posts I have to believe struggled with a lot of the same things you are. I'm not going to debate with anyone the power of prayer or what it can accomplish, but it seems to me you need a skilled professional sitting across a desk from you trying to figure out what your issues are and how to get on top of them. This is what these people do. Ask for their help.
Good luck. Be honest with people trying to help you and maybe things will finally turn around. As they say, its darkest right before the dawn.