Posted By:
warshawlaw1. OJ did not kill his wife; it was his ex-wife. A critical difference--ask any divorced guy if he wouldn't like to have a shot at the ex knowing he'd get off.
2. Our governor can kick your governor's ass. Of course, he's kicking our asses too...
3. My garage is worth more than most peoples' homes.
4. I pick oranges off a tree in my yard in January, have home-grown apricots, plums, pomegranates and grapefruit in the summer, and go to work in shorts until Thanksgiving.
5. When my kid is bored, we can drive over to Universal Studios (ten minutes away) and use an annual pass that costs next to nothing.
6. We have 5 MLB teams. Well, 4.5 counting the Dodgers under present management.
7. Kirsten Dunst was in my workout class the other day. Schwinggg!
8. California Girls. Schwingg! Schwingg!
9. Just doing stuff around town I've met Dustin Hoffman, Sylvester Stallone, Christie Brinkley, Roger Moore, Johnny Carson, Eric Idle, Jason Alexander, Ricardo Montalban, Cheech & Chong, Raquel Welch, Gene Hackman, Susan Sarandon, Michael Chiklis, Larry Brown, Chuck Norris and a bunch of "I recognize him but I can't place the name"
10. We are so big and sprawled out that terrorists get lost on the freeways and can't find their targets.