Spousal Support
 

Does your spouse (I'm sure I could say wife for 99% of the board) support, put up with, dislikes, detests or doesn't even realize your collection exists? My wife doesn't realize that I'm even collecting cards. I sold the vast majority of my collection some years ago. It was a HUGE collection taking up a tremendous amount of space (and money). I had almost every regular issue Topps card from 1963-1980. But now, my collection is very small. It consists of just under 500 cards in 2 binders. Fits nicely into the a desk drawer. Out of her sight, out of her mind...

I believe that keeping secrets is disastrous for a marriage. My wife doesn't understand it, but she tolerates it and keeps me from going overboard with it.

My wife knows about my collection and I show her every card I buy or trade for when it arrives. She encourages me to buy cards whenever I see something that I need for my collection. I was going to sell some cards about a year ago to fund a project and she wouldn't let me do it. She said we would get the money from somewhere else.

I'm blissfully single (only 28 and not in a hurry) I figure I'll have to cut back my collecting significantly once I settle down, so I'm doing most of my collecting now.

My wife is amazing about my collection. She was there when I bought my first two T206 cards in 1997, which I still have:

<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/JrE1PtlhbCtYkaNEYz59zUbbPrYp6YHrRqcN_cfzkkQ?feat=e mbedwebsite"><img src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-3CC-vGP-2GI/TKyDhpkEuJI/AAAAAAAAJN8/LVhAS4Mgw-s/s800/BenderPortraitSGC50.JPG" height="800" width="496" /></a>

<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/773AJA1ZTXz0bE-nmeR5S0bbPrYp6YHrRqcN_cfzkkQ?feat=embedwebsite"><i mg src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-cj8jDshOzgg/TKyDhuAay0I/AAAAAAAAJN8/6FJkQZtgeIU/s800/MathewsonThrowingWhiteCapSGC60.JPG" height="800" width="500" /></a>


And on our wedding day -- between the ceremony and the reception -- she gave me this "Groom" card:

<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/8a95KNsbnxDZfZfNsyh3eEbbPrYp6YHrRqcN_cfzkkQ?feat=e mbedwebsite"><img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-LIrMC7zU2Pc/TKyDhmCNFbI/AAAAAAAAJN8/h6HaXHq8Upw/s800/Groom%2520SGC%252040.JPG" height="800" width="489" /></a>

She also is credited with encouraging me to expand my "boring" unsigned T206 collection to cover autographed T206s, when a pair of signed Marquards showed up on ebay nearly 10 years ago:

<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/CR1TuZ8XYxbAoHPgdA54TDiJm_Z5QsNdec5_I7WHZRE?feat=e mbedwebsite"><img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-6vkW7dDzPFY/Rv0PG3tTjsI/AAAAAAAABqI/HaENLwzvzl0/s800/Marquard%2520Portrait%2520SGC%252030%2520Auto.jpg" height="800" width="501" /></a>

<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/nZW80vsbEujrrEXLJlr2eziJm_Z5QsNdec5_I7WHZRE?feat=e mbedwebsite"><img src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-TrkItOUJbpU/RnNFWvP5GAI/AAAAAAAAATo/dvmJfQwt70E/s800/Marquard%2520At%2520Sides%2520SGC%252020%2520Auto. jpg" height="800" width="490" /></a>

Of course, her support is not without its limits. For example, if we don't save enough money to send our kids to college, I will need to sell. Talk about an incentive to invest wisely in a college fund!

I have posted before about this, but my wife is very supportive.

We are considered low income by the government standards, but I know how to make the money stretch by staying out of debt (no credit cards or car loans) and having a few savings accounts. Yet every once in a while if we need money I sell a card instead of stocks. I did that after the birth of our second child in December. I sold an Old Judge King Kelly card that I really enjoyed and had gotten a good deal on with another Old Judge card thrown in. I recently did our taxes and after telling my wife what the refund was, the first thing she said was "Hey you could try and buy your Kelly card back".

I didn't even try and won't, but the fact that she thought of that before anything else just shows her support.

She always tries to learn more about the cards as well. She has gave me wall space for displaying. Also she has suggested we get a larger place so I can have an entire baseball display room.

She is a collector at heart though as well. She collects batman items (so do I, but her collection was larger than mine prior to the marriage).

We just got the shocker of our life yesterday finding out that she is pregnant again. That will make the two youngest 13months apart. That will also make the Oldest and the Youngest 28months apart. So I may be selling off most of my collection... since we seem to be collecting children. haha. The funny thing is, I would have to convince my wife that selling is the best thing to do, not the other way around.

Oh man this is my type of thread. My finacee hates my collecting. I have sacrificed a lot of nights out in order to pay for cards, I do not tell her that is why I am broke all the time, I have to be creative and make up excuses for being broke. Realistically I make a very good amount of disposable income for now but I act like I get $25 to spend a paycheck. I try to show them to her and she bats them away and says "get that out of my face." Once in awhile she asks "how much is it worth?" I do not respond because she will just say two things that make me mad. One is: "And how much did you pay for it?" Or "Why don't you sell it to pay for a trip or our wedding?" She also notices that my bin full of cards is magically getting larger and larger. I keep telling her she's nuts, it's not getting bigger. I also told her I bought my cards before I met her when the recession first hit, then I dug them out of the closet a year and a half ago; however, the collection keeps growing. I do not want to tell her anything because there were times when I bought an expensive card then my car broke down right afterward and I had to borrow money from her mom. Neither one of them knew I bought a card. But hey I paid her mom back right away, but if they knew I borrowed because of a card she would be pissed.
She also takes it personal when I look on the internet for hours instead of sitting on the couch watching TV with her. It is very hard having a significant other that does not collect anything or understand collecting things.

Delete
 

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Aha!!!
 

Now we know the real reason you crack slabs. You sneaky devil.

My wife is tolerant, if not appreciative.

She say's, "Just sell all that junk and take me to Hawaii". I take her to the Kowloon Polynesian Restaurant, they have a volcano!, order a couple of scorpion bowls and that holds her for a while. Incidentally, I'm too frightened to tell her to sell her jewelry.

Generally she tolerates my collecting because it makes me happy, but has made subtle comments that are not exactly supportive. The last time she felt the need to question my spending, I said something to the effect that at least my cards will hold or gain value, unlike your closet full of clothes hardly even worn and basically worthless. She hasn't said much about me collecting since.

My wife is understanding and dangerously encouraging. Went to my first live auction (Heritage) while visiting her in Dallas when she was down there for work for 3 months. The auction was a block from her house, so we went. Not only did I walk out of there with the item I wanted, but she coaxed me into bidding on and buying a lot that was 4x the cost of the first lot. I'm very lucky.

Interesting thread. My ex-wife did not like my baseball card habit. I can still hear her nagging, "Why do you spend money on this s@#* (stuff)". Currently single, and happier with the cards than the ex.

Now, I don't care. My collection is in my daughters name. She loves them. Only seven years old and she can name the Black Sox by position, and make a good argument for Omar Vizquels' inclusion in the HOF. Huge Mariners fan.

my wife understands my collecting that one day she will talk me into selling my e90's,t206 amd my beloved turkey red cards which i have very few of and take her on a vaction but dont tell her but it wont happen lol

My wife is very supportive of my obsession with cards. She has told me many times that there are a lot worse things that I could be doing with both my time any money. I am very grateful to have her support.

Her attitude right now is basically as long as it doesn't imperil the family finances, have fun. She also knows that I am a sufficiently astute card buyer that I won't buy anything that is going to turn to s**t [unless everything else does]--when my business had a hiccup in 2009 I was able to sell cards to bridge the gap. And as I am often fond of reminding her when things get a bit testy about my cost of collecting, I don't play golf, I drive an old paid-for car, and I don't have season seats to sports teams [though in truth I gave up my Dodgers seats because I was P.O.'d about the steriods scandal more than anything else], so all the money that would be consumed on those things is instead sunk into something I can both enjoy and get money back from. It also helps that between forcing me back into the stock market in December 2007 and refusing to sell the house that prior summer, she cost us about $700,000. That buys me a lot a of slack with my card collecting.

My wife finds it a weird item to collect since I am not a big sports guy but enjoys seeing each new pose/player and encourages me to hunt for cards I really want. Plus one card paid for a family trip to Hawaii, that helped ;)

I show my wife every card that comes in and sometimes she'll laugh like when she sees my '38 Goudey heads-up cards that come in. She wanted a Teddy Ballgame card once and I found her one when he was with the millers and she framed it.

My wife is very supportive. We have made great friends through collecting. I take my son to shows. OTOH, I am a pretty decent husband and it is probably my biggest vice.

Funny story. It was about 2004 and I had been collecting for just a few years. I hadn't spent more than a few hundred on any cards yet and I found a nice Smith Chi & Boston on Ebay. I was working 3rd shift at the time and was sleeping when it ended but had but in my max bid beforehand(before the snipping days). When I woke, she was on the computer with an angry look on her face. "Do you know you spent $356 on a t206". My reply "awesome". The card went for my max bid.
I sent the card to PSA and it returned as a 6. At the time it was the highest graded with only 2 other 6's. I kept it a few years, then sold it for close to $2K.
I haven't heard much about buying cards since then:)

My wife is very supportive of all my hobbies, and knows a fair bit about each one. (Big fun watching her deal with a flea market card dealer who wasn't really up on things- "It's rare, and in great shape for it's age" "Uh, it's got creases and a tear, and it's a common, nicer ones are all over Ebay at about 1/3 of what you want for it" :D) .
It's great to have someone to discuss potential purchases with, she's got a bit different perspective about some stuff. And it really helps since I'm not broke, but do have to choose what I buy. An expensive card might mean buying nothing for the rest of the month.

And the responses range from "I don't think it's a good deal/the right time" to "How does it fit the collection" to "hey that's really nice, just buy it"
The last of those was about a bike part I liked but wasn't sure if I wanted to spend as much as I did.

It helps that I'm interested and somewhat knowledgeable about her hobbies. She had the same fun watching me discuss the relative merits of some bit of quilting gear over a different one as I had with the flea market card guy.

Steve B

Checkmate 54
 

With tongue firmly implanted in cheek, how about a new Forum with the above title for spouses to rag about the ridiculous collections of their mates. With this perverse form of group therapy some of our haggard and haggled brothers might actually benefit in the long run. Or if you prefer a less ominous title (not related to the "end game"), it could simply be called Nette54.

Disclaimer: No sexist innuendo implied in this, recognizing the fact that there are several women on the board recently mentioned in another thread.

+1

Lord my wife hates it. She always gets the mail, and if she sees me running to the mailbox, trying to beat her, my goose is cooked. She knows already.

Amusing thread. My wife knows that I'm a collector and while she often calls me a dork I think she can appreciate many of the items that I've collected over the past several years. She loves art so I try to push the artistic angle of my collection....I think it works most of the time. She has no idea how much I've spent on my collection but she has never asked.

She does however have a tendency to embarrass the hell out of me if we go into an antique shop. I usually play off my desire to find some cool baseball item when I go right into the store but she's quick to mimic my voice and act like she's going to ask one of the workers if they have any baseball items.:o

My wife is awesome when it comes to my collection. She teases me about it, but for Christmas this year I got a '33 Gehrig in PSA 2 from her. Need I say more.

I show her cards from time to time and she at the very least displays some level of interest. It has helped that over the years I've turned purchases of $100-$300 into thousands of dollars.

This was my wife's wedding gift to me (married November 2011). She won it in Baggers and said it was such a great rush to bid on things she could see why I liked it. She went above and beyond as she went in my phone, called a fellow collector & Board member and asked what I would be interested in; I knew nothing about it.

Nice thread!

My wife is as supportive as they come, period. She can tell you the difference between a 1914 and 1915 CJ no problem, lets me go on all the time, refuses to let me sell cards that when funding another purchase and has agreed a couple times to me spending big bucks. She could never make a purchase herself being gun shy but has enabled me to get several cards as gifts throughout the years. If I come home with a snickers bar for her she does cartwheels...I am a lucky guy.

Some of you guys are luckier than hell, my finacee is as unsupportive as can be, even though I do not spend her money only my money. I pay the majority of the bills and on time, and make nearly double what she does, yet I still get a hard time. Luckily I have our mail key, so I sneak in all my packages.

For the most part, supportive
 

In the old days, I really never spent that much on my cards. They were all, for the most part, beaters. But I had been lucky enough to collect some really rare ones early on, so when I started to sell off all but the two with Howe's stamp, and she saw how much money was coming in (that I originally planned on spending for more cards as I found them), she so much as said there were other things in our lives that could use that money much more than my collection (wife speak: her bathroom needed remodeling, which it desperately did need).

Put almost all the money from the first 200 T206s I had, plus the 38 year run of complete Topps sets (1972-2010) into her bathroom, and have not heard a complaint since.

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Fiancee? Get out now Zach, NOW! I'm not kidding. Doesn't sound like the right match for you. Good luck with that.

Zack - this is your second post on this thread about your fiancee and how she just hates your hobby. You sure you got the right woman? Not just that she hates your collecting but everything you have said about her is just so negative, you make it seem as if she has total control and you are second guessing your decision about her and needing a place to vent about it.
You have to sneak around with the mail key and you two are not even married yet.
Just my two cents here, I have been married for a long time to an understanding woman.
And like KOC has said,, good luck.

I tend to agree with the previous 2 posts...get out while you can...and it's free!!!!

My wife is very supportive. she might not understand why i collect, but she certainly respects it...she is a sports fan (which is awesome), we love going to games together throughout the year (Yanks, Mets, Knicks, etc). we just got married last year, so she knew what she was getting with me (avid collector & huge sports fan). we're planning to attend the Nat'l together.

I have never had a girlfriend who thought my collection was silly in any way...in fact every single one of them took an interest in it...thought my "little paintings" were soooooo coooool...and encouraged me in my collecting.

A good woman appreciates a man who is passionate...about something...about anything!!!!!

Unless it's T206s then she should mock them...;)

Steve,

I've been to Kowloon MANY a time and had WAAAAAY too many Scorpion Bowls there as well, my friend!! :D

Only once has the 'maybe you could sell something to pay for this' comment come up. My wife knows what this stuff means to me. She is often jealous about the value, however. The fact that I can put stuff on eBay or B/S/T and have cash within minutes drives her crazy. She respects the value and the enjoyment that it brings me.

My wife is supportive. She teases me about my cards, calling me a dork. She also refers to my hobby as 'the other woman'. So whenever she sees me on eBay or Net54, she asks how 'baseball card girl' is doing.

I'll sometimes show her a few cards when they come in the mail if they're something special. She politely listens, but has no interest in cards.

We're needing to buy a bigger home and I mentioned I might sell the bulk of my collection to help with the downpayment. She immediately said she didn't want me to sell my collection because it means so much to me.

My ex wife hated my collecting. That was till I started buying and selling big collections I was getting. Then when the money rolled in it was ok. Started on prewar and keeping for myself and that was the end of that support. I have been forced to sell some things I seriously regret.

Fast forward to today. My GF don't really care but when I get a card I show her and she ask questions and is excited for me. Even wants to attend nationals with me but work conflicts this yr. She is awesome and supports me in my addiction. Even calls me when she finds cards and pics at shops or people she knows. Can't ask for better:D

Chris...agreed!

I work 16 hours a day so my wife can stay at home with our son so she doesn't mind that I have a hobby. Gives me something to do between sending quotes and working on contracts which is a healthy break from work. Overall, I have a supportive wife.

16 hours a day? I commend you sir.

Eric, You sound like me. I work 70-75 hours a week. So as long as I don't have a hobby that takes me away from the house then everything is good. She doesn't really know what my collection is worth but then again she has never asked. If she did she would just buy me a bigger safe for my birthday so I can get them all in it. Probably not a bad idea though.

I had Chicago Cubs stuff all over my apartment walls, then the girlfriend moved in. Now the stuff is actually organized and looks better than it did before! She completely supports me collecting old baseball cards and asks about each new card I add to the collection. On the doubloe plus side, sometimes she swears at the TV during bad calls more than I do! I feel very blessed to have her in my life :D

Quick Summary
 

Quick summary: If your collecting leads to making $ from reselling them, your little lady woman is cool with it. If not, they got issues....

Ditto. Run away!

My wife detests the hobby also. She doesn't like the money or time I spend on it. It is what it is. Everything else about her is great however. This is delving into a separate topic, but I don't think every relationship has to be perfect. It's a constant work in process.