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Creative auction house descriptions
Don't you all just love some of the "creative" terms that auction houses use to describe their items?
What are some of your favorite "terms" you've seen? Personally one of my favorites is how many poses are described as "haunting." These players are dead after all. are they now believed to be ghosts? |
Not really creative, but I get a kick out of "extant".
Everything is "The finest example extant". It's like when someone gets attached to a particular buzz word. I had a co-worker that would drop "fundamentally" 15 times in a half hour meeting... :D |
MY assistant uses the word "literally" constantly! Extant is on my list of overused auction descriptors too!
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I personally cringe each time they give a description about a famous players career. For example, if you are auctioning off a Babe Ruth autographed baseball, just please describe the baseball! No need for 4 paragrahs at the beginning outlining Babe Ruth's career. If you are auctioning off a Honus Wagner T206, just please describe the card! No need for a 5,000 word diatribe on Honus Wagner's career. I'm sure we all know who Babe Ruth and Honus Wagner are already.....
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God forbid we hurt our kids feelings and say "Hey pal, that's not a word. Use regardless or irrespective". :eek: |
"iconic."
-Al |
Any job openings?
Too bad fundamentally is not literally extant, irregardless of its iconic status.
Brian |
It is a rare day when I don't hear or see "reach out" multiple times. Cringe.
For auctions, I always hated the term "blazer." |
I don't know about auction descriptions, but can we all agree to get rid of the one word I hear 5000 times a day, "amazing".
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"Holy Grail"
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One that I always think of is from a Goodwin auction for a Germany Smith Mayo. Quote:
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The words "Magnificent Example" come to mind!;)
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-Al |
I will add "exemplar" as I can't stand this word...especially when combined with "extant!"
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I have never liked the phrase "corners so sharp they can cut -------". I'm sorry....it is a baseball card. It ain't cutting anything.
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Undergraded
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Honest corner wear.
Better than the technical grade. |
"Corners so sharp you could do a vasectomy on a mosquito." I can live without that one, even if true.
Also, "Best eva? Hellz yeah!" Runners up are "gnarly" and "bitchin'" Bootylicious is okay depending on the context including pop report. And anything that insults my intelligence. Which is everything. Though I did get a good chuckle out of Kant's Critique of Pure Reason. Oh, and any auction descriptions spoken in a fake cockney accent. Oh, and "the." Tired of that word. Oh, I'm sure it's a great language an all and they're fine upstanding people, but I don't speak Mandarin. Last time, I thought I bid on a 1956 Topps partial set and ended up getting a plate of butter. And what's with the background Muzak on the auction sites these days? When I'm trying to bid, I really can live without the symphonic version of U Can't Touch This. Oh yeah, and actually put the item in a box or envelope. Don't just place a stamp and write the mailing address on the cabinet card. Or at the very least do it on the back. Twice that's happened this year. |
"Blazer"
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R u making a mockery of this thread???? |
Or descriptions you may never see
"overgraded piece of cardboard that makes you want to upchuck at a price that only a loving mother would consider paying....." |
"The scary thing about David is, when you get to know him, you realize he isn't trying to be funny."
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One major auction house "creatively" used "Hand Cut" instead of "Trimmed" for some Rice-Stix cards. :eek: :mad:
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As someone who wrote auction lots for years, I will tell you it is not the easiest thing to get exactly right. If your description is too long, you bore the bidder and he is likely to glaze over it. If it's too short, you may not be creating the kind of excitement you might want. If you use too many superlatives and call every lot spectacular, you strain the credibility of your audience. But if you lowkey it too much, you kind of piss off the consignor, especially if the lot doesn't do as well as you hoped.
So it's really an art, and it takes practice to get it right. I think the number one thing every bidder wants to know is the specifics of condition. Most of the stuff around that description is fluff...but a little fluff is probably okay. |
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"…if he is laughing, it is too late." |
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I see "undergraded" all the time but for some reason never see "overgraded".
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http://www.ebay.com/itm/tb-1910-T206...item56507794e2 |
I guess these are terms, not single words, but...
'Bright, crisp and clean' 'Presents higher than it's technical assessment' 'Exceptionally strong example' |
What they don't tell you after the trite description:
-One of the finest example we've seen. (today) -presents well (if you squint really hard) -excellent eye appeal (if you drink a fifth of gin first) -crisp (if you put it in the freezer for an hour) |
"Dripping with gloss" is a good one. :)
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Wasn't there a description in a Goldin Auction Cat. (I think) where they compared a crease in a card (Joe Jackson I believe) to the lightning bolt on the Savoy Special bat from the movie The Natural? The movie and description are both classics...
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"elite centering"
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But I've never seen this particular description (elite centering). Not sure I would go with that one, even if I was prone to lying. |
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I know that chipping can be confused with paper loss sometimes and they ARE viewed differently by grading companies...not that it's the case in your example, Andy, just pointing out the relevance. |
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For sure, Andy. I was just bouncing my point off of your post [emoji41] |
My dad often said put on your resume only that which is you can prove as accurate if someone questions you about it. If you put on your resume that you were "special assistant to Stanley Kubrick," assume someone will ask you about that claim. If you really were a special assistant to the legendary movie director and can demonstrate it, by all means proudly include it. If you made it up or obviously exaggerated your position (You cleaned windows and served coffee in his offices part time one summer when you were 15), there's a good chance you will end up looking foolish and dishonest.
That's my approach to writing auction descriptions. If a superlative is accurate ("ultra rare," "finest example extant," "gorgeous"), there's no need to apologize for using it. If it isn't accurate or is an exaggeration, exclude it. You don't want to develop a 'Boy Who Cried Wolf' reputation, where bidders assume you're once again being full of BS even when the card really is "the finest example extant" or has "brilliant, radiant colors" as you write. |
http://sterlingsportsauctions.com/Lo...ot-of-%282%29-
calling this Zimmerman card "diamond cut" is creative. |
It IS diamond cut. 'Diamond cut' doesn't mean it is shaped like a diamond, or even cut with multi facets.
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didn't mean it as a negative.
diamond cut would get a number grade. that card would grade A. It is a choppy cut not a diamond cut. |
"The offered card" is "rarely offered" (except for the other three we offered in our last three auctions) and remains a "bright and vibrant colorful pasteboard" which happens to be "the penultimate" member of this "elusive" set.
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