Dear PSA....
 

Dear PSA,

Why can't you work weekends? That would make the turnaround time so much quicker and would make your customers much happier. Please consider.

Sincerely,
EVERYONE

Dear Valued Customer,

Being the leader in third party authentications, we feel we do not need to change what made us number one. We use the weekends to travel all around the US doing shows which puts us in the public eye. We encourage you to take advantage of our expedited services for a nominal fee if you need something done within a time frame.

Number One

And be sure to multiply any commitment times by 2-3X just to be sure we actually MAKE HONOR CARE ABOUT attempt to be in the ballpark of that commitment.

Dear PSA,

Please fire the Grader of Death. Thank you.

Sincerely,
EVERYONE