Mr. Burns' Ringers

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Posted By: <b>Troy Kirk</b><p>I was just rewatching an old episode of the Simpsons called "Homer at the Bat." In the episode, the nuclear plant softball team is going to play the Shelbyville softball team and Mr. Burns makes a million dollar bet on the game. To ensure he will win, he wants to bring in a team of ringers. Here is the lineup he wants to use in the big game:<br /><br />1B Cap Anson<br />2B Nap Lajoie<br />SS Honus Wagner<br />3B Pie Traynor<br />C Gabby Street<br />LF Shoeless Joe<br />CF Harry Hooper<br />RF Jim Creighton<br />P 3 Finger Brown<br /><br />After being informed that all of the players he wants have already passed away, Burns brings in some modern ringers. But just for fun, let's see some baseball card pictures of Burns' original ringers.

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>The strange part is that, after Burns runs down his proposed lineup, Smithers says something to the effect of "and your left fielder has been dead for 130 years"! Just a <i>touch</i> inaccurate, but who noticed besides us?

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Posted By: <b>Neal</b><p><img src="http://www.network54.com/Realm/tmp/1206111596.JPG"> <img src="http://www.network54.com/Realm/tmp/1206111697.JPG">

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Posted By: <b>Matt</b><p>Neal - great Sepia!

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Posted By: <b>Dave F</b><p><br /><img src="http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l111/asphaltman76/E%20Cards/T%20Cards/D%20Cards/W%20Cards/M%20Cards/W%20Cards/Type%20Cards/harringtontraynorf-1.jpg">

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Posted By: <b>Zinn</b><p>WB

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Posted By: <b>Jon Canfield</b><p>Jodi - Being a HUGE Simpsons fan, I believe Smithers tells Burns that his RF (not LF) has been dead for 130 years. Creighton died in 1862, and if memory serves me right, the Homer at the Bat episode aired in 1992, making Smithers right on the money at 130 years.

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Posted By: <b>Addie_Joss</b><p>Who is Jim Creighton?

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Posted By: <b>Todd Schultz</b><p><img src="http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff265/nolemmings/16m1014brown.jpg">

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>That episode was made in an interesting manner. Every time a National League player came into town to play the Dodgers, or an American League player came in to play the Angels, he would go to the studio and record his lines. So it is unlikely any of the players saw each other during the production.<br /><br />It's a classic episode, and among the funnier bits is Ken Griffey's gigantism, and Mike Scoscia's contamination due to the fact he preferred hauling cannisters of nuclear waste over playing baseball.<br /><br />Steve Sax is probably still in prison, and where the heck did Ozzie Smith go into that abyss?<br /><br />"Mattingly, shave those sideburns!"

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Posted By: <b>Neal</b><p>James Creighton, Jr. (April 15, 1841 – October 18, 1862) was a pitcher in baseball's earliest era. Among his many accomplishments, he was in all likelihood the first professional ballplayer, threw the first fastball, completed the first recorded triple play, and is considered by baseball historians to be the game's first superstar.

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Posted By: <b>Matt</b><p>Jon - knowing how much research they put into every episode, I'm inclined to agree that there was no factual error here.

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>As many times as I've seen that episode, I missed the Creighton reference. And it first aired on February 20, 1992.

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Posted By: <b>Jon Canfield</b><p>For those who want to watch the episode:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.fanpop.com/spots/the-simpsons/videos/826675" target="_new" rel="nofollow">http://www.fanpop.com/spots/the-simpsons/videos/826675</a><br /><br />PS - scroll to 6 minutes and 30 seconds into the episode to see the scene in question!

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Jon- can every episode of the show be found online?<br /><br />Fox is currently showing every episode in order starting with #1 "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire." There is one that is no longer shown, however. It's the one where home goes to the World Trade Center to retrieve his car.

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>I misssed the Creighton reference, too, even in the lineup posted here today! Sorry, I would have realized the accuracy of Smithers' quote if I would have just paid more attention! Isn't it funny that someone like Creighton was even mentioned on TV? Thaat may in fact be the "Most obscure. Simpsons joke. EVER!"!!! Somebody on their staff really knows their baseball. I believe Creighton is considered to be baseball's first "superstar"--at least that's what I have read. Has anyone seen that gaudy headstone that his teammates purchased for him? It's in Brooklyn, so I'm sure Barry has passed by it before! The copper really didn't age well! There's a pic of it at my buddy Frank Russo's site, www.thedeadballera.com. Best. Website. EVER!

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Posted By: <b>Jon Canfield</b><p>Barry - yes - every episode can be found online... for free.

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>Barry,<br /><br />Yeah, it's too bad that they can't show that episode anymore! It was hillarious. Remember Homer trying to reach a bathroom across the street by using a tree branch?! <br /><br />"Khald Kalash!" (sic)<br /><br />"Ewwwww! I'll have a crab juice."<br /><br /><br />There is another moment of censorship in another episode. They show an Oscar statuette Homer found. It belonged to Dr. Haing S. Ngor, who won for his role in "The Killing Fields" (in 1983 I think?). Anyway, sometime after the episode aired, Ngor was found brutally murdered. In subsequent airings, Ngor's name is blurred from the shot in a 1989 Fleer Billy Ripkenesque way!

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Posted By: <b>Jon Canfield</b><p>I believe the WTC episode is "City of NY vs. Homer Simpson" or "Homer Simpson vs. City fo NY", can't remember which name. Regardless, I think that it is again on TV although the line about all the jerks being in Tower 1 is edited out.<br /><br />Edited to add: The quote is not offensive in the show and I hope it doesn't appear out of context in my reference above.

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Jodi- I can tell you one of the Simpson's head writers bid in an early auction of mine and won a trophy ball from the 1860's. I don't want to reveal his name, but my guess is he is the one who knew Creighton.<br /><br />It took me a week after he bid to make the connection with his name. I called him, told him I sent the ball, and on his answering machine said: "and by the way, do you write for the Simpsons, because if you do I would love to speak with you."<br /><br />He returned my call a couple of days later, admitted that he was in fact the writer, and we spoke for half an hour. I was thrilled.

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>That's really cool! Has he done any more bidding since? Out of curiosity, what did you discuss? I bet you posed some questions a few of us here would love to hear the answers to!

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Jodi- to answer your other question, the WTC episode was very funny. I remember Marge and the kids went to see some bizarre Broadway musical about some psychotropic drugs, can't recall the exact title.<br /><br />Didn't know about the blacking out on that statuette.<br /><br />Another interesting piece of trivia: the great reclusive writer Thomas Pynchon, who has never shown his face in public, appeared in two episodes and was drawn with a paper bag over his head to maintain his anonymity.

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>No- he never bid again. He actually lived across the street from Phil Hartmann, who was the greatest of all the guest voices on the show. They were good friends and he was devastated by his murder.<br /><br />I can't remember everything we discussed but I asked him a lot of questions about various episodes. I can tell you I've seen every one of the more than 400 episodes, even every short that appeared on Tracy Ullman between 1987-89. I am as big a Simpson's nut as I am with Seinfeld. It's a disease, to watch the same episode for the 30th time.

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>I know the feeling about both shows. As of late, I have noticed that various stations in both the U.S. and Canada have been re-airing shows far too soon (within a week or two). There are enough episodes of each series to go around--I wish they'd just stick to airing them chronologically to avoid repetition. Then again, I can do without season 1 of either show. Technically, the first season of <i>Seinfeld</i> was the pilot. I meant the first <i>full</i> season in regards to that show.

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Posted By: <b>Jon Canfield</b><p>To bring the thread back to baseball, another interesting thing about the Homer at the Bat episode is that it references Pride of the Yankees when the Springfield softball team travels from city to city via train, with the pennants of the cities being visited displayed on the screen.

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>I actually like the first season of the Simpsons alot; I think they nailed the ethos of the humor almost from the start. The show did get more caustic by about 1992-93, arguably its peak. But the first season episodes were really pretty funny. They just needed time to develop their best characters, such as Mr. Burns and Krusty, who in my opinion always got the best lines (Conan O'Brien, once the head writer, said he most enjoyed writing Mr. Burns' lines, and he is also Harry Shearer's favorite character to play).

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>Did you know that Harry Shearer was the first Wally Cleaver? The pilot for <i>Leave it to Beaver</i> was titled *It's A Small World*. Shearer played Beaver's big brother in that episode before being replaced by Tony "Where is He Now?" Dow. <br /><br />And, to re-connect back to the Simpsons:<br /><br />"No, this is TONY Plow. You know, from <i>Leave it to Beaver</i>! Yeah, they were gay!"<br /><br />Apparently, the writers fought vehemently with the censors at FOX to keep the line "They were gay" in the script. Afterwards, they looked back on it and wondered why! They felt it wasn't that good of a joke (and they were right).

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Jodi- sad to say, "Leave it to Beaver" is another show I have encyclopedic knowledge of. Like I said, it's a disease. I did see "It's a Small World" when TVLand had their 50th anniversary celebration for the show last year. So yes, I did know that about Shearer (who was also a child star on the radio on the "Jack Benny Show").

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Posted By: <b>Zinn</b><p>WTF

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Zinn- you took the very words out of my mouth. I'm getting back to work. <img src="/images/happy.gif" height=14 width=14>

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Posted By: <b>Josh Adams</b><p>Barry,<br /><br />The name of the musical was "Checkin' In." <br /><br />And the softball episode is a classic. <br /><br />"I wonder if this Homer Simpson is any relation to Three Finger Brown."

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Posted By: <b>Dan Bretta</b><p>I'm a huge Leave it to Beaver fan...I have the first two seasons on DVD. Harry Shearer played a kid named Frankie in the pilot episode. Sort of an Eddie Haskell type of guy. An actor named Paul Sullivan played Wally...and Ward was played by Max Showalter (Grandpa Fred in Sixteen Candles).

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>It's a totally corny show that wins people over by the great characters. It's a baby boomer favorite that somehow still entertains (though a bit dated).<br /><br />Edited to add thanks Josh. Wasn't it about the Betty Ford clinic, now that I think of it?

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Posted By: <b>Matt</b><p>Jodi - I'm incline to believe that that is not the most obscure Simson's reference ever - it's just that with our knowledge base, it's the one we picked up. Such obscure references abound on the show and we probably don't notice them since their beyond our knowledge scope.

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>I totally agree, although I am a pop culture/historical junkie (as well as nonfiction in general), so they have me laughing all the time with their obscure jabs! I really enjoy watching the show in a demographic of varying age and people with knowledge in differing fields all in the same room. It's great when one person laughs, and nobody else "gets it". Then, the kids will laugh at something the "old fogies" might mot be well-versed in (perhaps a modern technology/fad/video game reference). This might be followed up by a joke that everyone gets. That, to me, is the quintessential nucleus of the show's genius! <img src="/images/happy.gif" height=14 width=14> I must say that the last several seasons have lacked in quality, but something so special can't be expected to last forever. I think it's time for Matt Groening to flip his first basemen's mitt to Babe Dahlgren and take himself out of the lineup.

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Posted By: <b>scgaynor</b><p>There is an episode in which one of grandpa Simpson's old army buddies is named Asa Brainard. Just like Baseball, there are also alot of hidden scientific jokes on the show too. <br /><br />One of the show's producers/writers named Donnick Cary used to buy old football programs from me although I have not seem him buying in like 8-9 years. I asked him if he was the one putting in the old baseball references and his reply was something like "I'm not the one that is the old Baseball fan around here" implying that somebody else was but didn't name any names. There is also a John Swarzenwelder (spelled wrong probably) that buys old baseball stuff and a guy with the same name is a writer. I asked him once if he was the same person and he said "no."<br /><br />Scott

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>I agree The Simpsons has long overstayed its welcome. It used to be a densely constructed show that at its best, nearly every line was funny or had a pop culture reference, and it never let up. Now you can watch a whole episode and perhaps find one or two funny lines.<br /><br />I too make a discipline of trying to recognize and connect every pop culture reference, of which there are always many. The show became too popular and they didn't seem to mind a weak script if they could instead come up with an A-list guest voice. It passed its peak by about 1994 or so.

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Posted By: <b>scgaynor</b><p>"I really enjoy watching the show in a demographic of varying age and people with knowledge in differing fields all in the same room. It's great when one person laughs, and nobody else "gets it". Then, the kids will laugh at something the "old fogies" might mot be well-versed in (perhaps a modern technology/fad/video game reference). This might be followed up by a joke that everyone gets. That, to me, is the quintessential nucleus of the show's genius!"<br /><br />Jodi, you should watch Arrested Developement, the short lived Fox sitcom from a couple of years ago. It is probably the best sitcom ever, but you have to pay attention and watch every episode in order otherwise it is hard to follow. Almost every line is a joke, play on words, pun, etc. I have probably watched every episode 5 or 6 times and each time I catch something new. It is that good! It was a huge hit with critics, but the reason that it only lated three seasons is that the humor was too intelligent for the normal person.<br /><br />Scott

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>I agree with the show's peaking in 1994, but I think it held its own through 1998-99. Definitely reminiscent of October 24, 1929 after that.

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Yes, some of the late 90's episodes were still pretty good, but it wasn't as consistent. The last five years have been anywhere from not too bad to awful. The last one I saw that I really liked was when Homer was given medicinal marijuana for an eye injury, and he started to hang out in his attic getting stoned with Otto (one of my favorite characters).

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>Scott,<br /><br />I have never watched <i>Arrested Development</i> , but perhaps I'll give it a shot. I find that Portia Del Rossi very annoying--likely my main reason for staying away. When I am in Canada, I have seen that CBC airs reruns nationwide on weekdays. I'll take you up on the recommendation.<br /><br />A show that always did it for me was <i>Northern Exposure</i> . Kind of along the same lines of what you describe, although it sounds like it may be to a lesser degree of obscurity (although the references <i>did</i> get really vague at times). Perhaps best described as a gene splice of <i>Arrested Development</i> mixed with <i>Six Feet Under</i> and a touch of David Lynch. I have been to the town of Roslyn, Washington, where much of NE was filmed, on several occasions, and had more than a few at the REAL Brick. There's nothing quite as odd as walking down the street of your favorite TV show.<br /><br /><br />Man, we are getting a lot of activity on this non-hobby-related thread! It's nice to be able to unwind with a thread that offers little-to-no threat of stubborn argumentation. We should do this more often. It gives this forum a pleasant breather that is much needed at times. There's more to life (and to us) than our passion for baseball!

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>Barry,<br /><br />Here, here. Funny, I was just thinking of that episode last night, prior to the start of this thread!<br /><br />The best lines from the last several seasons all seem to be contained within:<br /><br />"Remember when I dropped my keys and you thought the phone was ringing?"<br /><br />"Shemp spelled backwards is 'hemp'!"<br />"Otto spelled backwards is 'Otto'!"<br />"Now I'm scared!"

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>I remember those lines. They can still be funny, but too often it is silly and obnoxious.

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Posted By: <b>Jon Canfield</b><p>Jodi and Barry - one of my favorite episodes. I also recall such memorable quotes as "We have a kitchen?" and "I could walk up to the President and blow smoke in his stupid monkey face, and he'd just have to sit there groovin' on it."

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>My favorite was delivered by Doctor Hibbert:<br /><br />Homer, here is some medicinal marijuana and a prescription bong.

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>"The wizard, or the skull?"<br /><br />"I didn't know I was sick. I had to hear it from Phish!"<br /><br />"Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that even He could not eat it?"<br /><br />

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Posted By: <b>DD</b><p>I have found several TV shows over the years that I did not watch first run, but I did in syndication. Seinfeld is one of those (my work schedule did not allow me to see it first run). Also, Wings, News Radio, Drew Carey Show, Whose Line, Friends, Futurama and Family Guy.<br /><br />As big a fan of the Simpsons as I am (watched it from episode 1 and on), Family Guy blows it away. <br /><br />The other night I put on by mistake, My Name Is Earl. I think I will give it a shot. I cracked up for about 5 minutes straight. The episode had Giovanni Ribisi in it as a small time crook. Really funny stuff.

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Otto to Homer, after Marge comes up to the attic to talk to them:<br /><br />Wow, your mom is hot!

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>David,<br /><br />Initially, I could not get past the terrible animation in "Family Guy"--much like "South Park", it's lack of aesthetic would burn my retinas after viewing more than 3 seconds of it. After they brought the show back from cancellation, I did give it a shot, and found it mildly amusing. The thing that bothers me the most is its continual coddling of the "lowest common denominator" demographic. Too much toilet humor is juvenile and shows a lack of a dynamic writing staff. I have since given up on this show. Although far more offensive, I must say that "South Park" is written at a higher level. SP manages to offend everybody at least some of the time, and I find myself changing the channel at least every other episode. Granted, that's exaclty the reaction on which Parker and Stone based the premise of the show. Just one guy's opinion.<br /><br />

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Three favorite unsafe Krusty Brand products:<br /><br />1)Krusty O's Cereal: "Free Flesh Eating Bacteria In Every Box"<br /><br />2)Krusty's Home Pregnancy Test<br /> "Warning: May Cause Birth Defects"<br /><br />3)Label on Krusty's Ribwich Sandwich:<br /> "Warning: Will Cause Early Death"<br /><br />Favorite sign visible in Springfield- the Monstro Mart where Apu takes Marge to shop:<br /><br />"The Monstro Mart: Where Shopping is a Baffling Ordeal"

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Posted By: <b>DD</b><p>Jodi,<br />I feel the exact opposite. South Park, the one time I watched it, along with seeing about a billion commercials for it on Comedy Central, seemed offensive just for the sake of wanting to be offensive.<br /><br />Family Guy humor is a little more intellectual in my opinion. The songs that the writers (BTW, Seth McFarlane not only voices many of the characters, but can sing in their voice as well, which is supposedly difficult to do) come up with, the ridiculous interludes, such as Peter and the Giant Chicken, and appearances by greased up deaf guy, are very funny. Plus, any episode where Stewie is in the main plot is a riot. <br /><br />Blast all who disagree with me. LOL<br /><br />Barry,<br /><br />Burns, shopping in the breakfast aisle.<br /><br />Burns - Where are the Burns-O's? <br />Krusty - They don't have cereals for losers.<br />Burns - Close enough (as he picks up the box of Count Chocula)

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Posted By: <b>Nick G</b><p>My name is Otto... and i like to get blotto<br /><br />Patty: [Otto walks into the DMV and meets Patty, who holds a green pen in her right hand, and a red pen in the left] Hello, my name's Patty. I'll be testing you. When you do well, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?<br />Otto: Yeah, one: Have you always been a chick? I mean, I don't want to offend you, but, you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me, I'm open minded.<br />Patty: [Drops green pen] I won't be needing this!

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Nick- that's one of the funniest episodes. Otto loses his driver's license and goes to live with the Simpsons. He plays electric guitar all night in their garage. One of my favorites.

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Posted By: <b>Eric B</b><p>One word.<br /><br />Tomacco!

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>Ralph: "This tastes like Grandma!"<br />Chief Wiggum" "Yeeees, it DOES taste like Grandma!"<br /><br />I LOVE how they've both tasted this person!<br /><br />"Burns-O's"!!! I love that line! Thanks for reminding me! They don't replay that episode very often.<br /><br />Hans Moleman: "I was saying 'Boo-urns'!"

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Krusty: To all my friends out there, let me wish you a very Merry Christmas, a Happy Hannukah, a Kwazy Kwanzaa, a tip top Tet, and a very solemn Ramadan.

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Posted By: <b>Anthony S.</b><p>1) Evil Krusty the Clown Doll episode:<br /><br />REPAIR MAN (as he flips a switch on the doll's back): "Well here's your problem, you had it turned to evil."<br /><br /><br /><br />2) Simpson family sits at the dinner table. Grandpa stands up.<br /><br />GRANDPA: "I'm going to use the outhouse."<br /><br />Grandpa leaves.<br /><br />HOMER: "We don't have an outhouse."<br /> (beat)<br /> "My tool shed!"<br /><br />Homer jumps up and runs after Grandpa.

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Evil Krusty is from one of the Halloween specials, which I feel have generated some of the show's most creative moments.

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Posted By: <b>Jon Canfield</b><p>Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star. <br />

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Posted By: <b>barrysloate</b><p>Burns: Smithers, who is that gastropod in Sector 7G?<br /><br />Smithers: That's Homer Simpson, sir.<br /><br />Episode where Homer balloons to 320 pounds so that he can work at home due to his self-induced obesity.

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Posted By: <b>Jodi Birkholm</b><p>From the same episode:<br /><br />Homer, upon dealing with a computer for the first time: "I think I'll have a Tab."

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Posted By: <b>Jon Canfield</b><p>Another great sports episode:<br /><br />Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't --<br /> it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot-oil<br /> wrestling, foxy boxing, and such-and-such.<br /><br />Marge: I think women should be able to play any sport men play, but<br /> hockey is so violent and dangerous -- look at Milhouse's teeth.