JollyElm
12-18-2020, 07:04 PM
Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the board...I present to you 2020's Collectorisms Part II (also SemRANTics or VoSLABulary)
***ALERT!!!!!!*** I can't say this strongly enough. This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
The story, all names, characters, and/or incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, and none should be inferred.
I encourage anyone stopping by to first scroll down and read #119, to know what the heck you're in for.
And we're off to the races...
51. Smiled Goose Chase
When a seller excitedly sees there’s a new post in his ‘for sale’ thread, but instead of being a buy offer, it’s only someone cheerfully saying, “Nice card. Good luck with the sale.”
52. Acute Bartisyndrome
The compulsion to amass a huge stockpile of the exact same card (and therefore corner the market on it).
See also: Finish Whine - being unable to complete your set due to the actions of someone suffering from the above.
53. Ebaysion
Hiding your auction purchases from your wife, girlfriend or significant other.
54. Shark Infested Borders (slang)
A card that is missing small pieces of the corners and/or sides.
55. Matrisnide
A bitter, rueful post talking about how pissed you were that your mother threw out your baseball cards.
See also: Motherwise - any statement that ruefully begins with “If only my mom hadn’t thrown at my cards...”
See also: Patripride - posting something that includes warm memories of your father’s influence on your card collecting.
56. Poppy Love
Ignoring what a card looks like and buying it only for the number on the slab.
See also: Numberjack - a person suffering from the above.
57. Fail Mary
Throwing up a huge, last minute snipe bid and still not winning the auction.
58. Digitor
Someone who quickly stops into a thread to add “+1” to it.
See also: Addnumeralator - inserting a non-standard word or number after the plus sign (i.e., “+1000” or “+ Infinity”)
59. Small Photatoes
Players who are so easily forgotten about that they appear on rookie cards in multiple years.
See also: Knucklestaller - the person at Topps who decided Gaylord Perry should appear on a multi-player rookie card the year after he had his own ‘regular’ card.
60. Met Dream
The desire to own a Tom Seaver rookie card.
61. “Remember the Paypalamo!”
The war cry of people who have been screwed over by using (or letting buyers use) PayPal Friends & Family instead of Goods & Services.
See also: Threepercenters - those who insist that potential buyers include the additional funds required to cover PayPal fees.
62. Behuddled (also Whoknows Tackle)
Looking through a stack of old football cards, and besides obvious names like Franco Harris or Joe Namath, having no clue whatsoever if any of these guys (playing all sorts of bizarre positions) are Hall of Famers.
63. Barnacling - ignoring the real ‘value’ of a card you have available for sale and sticking firmly, come hell or high water, to your bottom sell price, because it’s the amount you originally (over)paid for it.
See also: Bookscorner - a vendor who quotes high book value prices on every one of his cards, no matter what condition they’re actually in.
64. Mine! Field
Checking a post with cards for sale and seeing that many of them were already quickly scooped up, as they have “SOLD” typed next to them.
65. Schwinnterloper
The baseball card a kid sticks in his bicycle spokes.
See also: Spokelore - the dubious claim that you remember sticking a 1952 Mickey Mantle or Jackie Robinson card in your spokes as a kid.
See also: Schwinntennial - a person who reached young adulthood at the time it was popular to put baseball cards in bicycle spokes.
66. Two-Face Value
The love of severely miscut cards that include big pieces of other cards on them.
See also: “Double-Trunc” - a card which contains two or more significant (truncated) portions of separate cards.
See also: Phantomweight - the additional value a tobacco card garners by having a ghosted image on it.
See also: Polterheist - getting a great deal on one of these cards.
67. Picrimony
When you see a certain member’s avatar in a thread and immediately wonder, “What’s this guy complaining about THIS time?!!”
See also: Skipnore - instead of placing a member on your ‘ignore’ list, you decide to simply scroll right by his posts every time you see his screenname.
68. Peter Pantheon
The group of cards that live on in your heart as a wonderful memory, because you’ve kept them and loved them ever since you were a kid.
See also: Peter Panacea - knowing that no matter how much life gets you down, you can always find a cure for what ails you by opening up one of your old binders and quickly returning to the joy you felt as a kid collecting baseball cards.
69. Cornivore
A collector who puts the condition of corners above all other factors.
70. Mistookalike
A photo or illustration of a player on a card that isn’t actually the player whose name appears on the card.
71. Counterintelli-gents
Guys who purposefully post misleading information in an attempt to curtail other people’s interest (and eliminate potential rival bidders) in a card they want to win off eBay.
72. Dreadshot
Any bland, uninteresting Topps card that features nothing but the noggin of the ballplayer.
See also: Nomad Hatter - a card showing a player on his ‘new’ team, sporting a badly airbrushed cap.
73. Documental Midget
A person believing that any random Certificate Of Authenticity (COA) accompanying a piece makes it 100% legitimate.
See also: Rusepaper - a COA seemingly printed on the seller’s home computer.
74. Auramatic
Having the pleasingly fragrant, musty old cardboard scent which returns you to the wonders of your card collecting childhood.
75. Monochrofanatic (also Nunner)
An exuberant collector of old black and white cards and/or photographs.
See also: Panda-monium (or B/Wmusement) - the enjoyment of such pieces.
76. The Marlboro Boogeyman
The inability to confirm that a player on a tobacco card can be found with a certain back.
77. Walk-Off Moanrun
When a member is in a thread arguing with everybody and he ultimately states, “This will be my final post in this thread. I am outta here.”
78. Bent Franklin (slang)
A heavily creased or wrinkled card that you spent over a hundred dollars on.
79. Poolhardy
Spending a good amount of money buying slots in an organized ‘vintage set break,’ even though you know full well you’re going to walk away with the most common, worthless cards in the set.
See also: Emcee-headed - the host of the setbreak who has no clue how to pronounce the old ballplayer names as he reads out the cards.
80. The Gone-Too-Soon Landing (also Mourn Shot)
The race to be the first person to reach the main page and start a laudatory thread about a HOF’er who passed away that day.
81. John Wilkes Bruth
Someone using a last minute snipe bid to try to win a Bambino card.
See also: Ruthache - realizing your bid wasn’t high enough to win the card.
See also: Grassy Null - waiting until the final moments to bid hugely, but a second sniper suddenly comes out of nowhere to quash your bid and win the auction.
82. Left Hand of Fate (also Whitey Bored)
The fact that Topps seemingly had no other choice but to feature Whitey Ford holding out his southpaw towards the camera in the very same pose year after year after year.
See also: Gobbledybrook - having no idea what Topps was thinking when they put out Brooks Robinson’s 1958 card.
See also: Incomprejennsive - not being able to understand how any sentient human being doesn’t get completely annoyed every time they see yet another Hughie Jennings card showing his mouth wide open and his hands flying all over the place, apparently shouting, "Ee-Yah!"
83. Deniedsmaid
A person who was beaten by a single bid in an auction they were really hoping to win.
84. Backflippant
Having no qualms whatsoever about sending in a card for a regrade...but it ultimately comes back with a lower number on the label.
85. Ombidsman
The person at eBay who is supposedly investigating the fraudulent auctions that members report.
86. Sigfoot Hoax
When somebody asks members to specifically point out how they can tell an expensive autograph is a phony, and you get the sneaking feeling he’s only trying to pick up tips on how to better improve his penwork and forgery craft.
See also: Bicanery - pointing out an obvious forgery due to what type of pen was used.
87. Scangling
The process of slanting a card in the light to examine its surface.
See also: Tilt Jilt - angling a card in the sunlight and finding a wrinkle you never realized was there.
88. Traidorous
The feeling of treachery you get when seeing pictures or cards of an all time great dressed in the uniform of a rival team he was dumped off to in the twilight of his career.
89. Gregg Jeffleece
A person who, blinded by dollar signs, poured a ton of money into buying up the rookie cards of a player with a huge potential...only to ultimately end up losing his shirt in the endeavor.
See also: Phenomecon - the hyped-up sales strategy of eBayers trying to turn every single rookie player into the next Willie Mays or Mickey Mantle.
See also: Trout Pout - feeling remorse and anguish that you missed the chance to load up on Mike Trout rookie cards before the explosion in sales prices occurred.
See also: Inhastement - quickly jumping in to buy an expensive, red hot card that you know will be a great investment, but each time you then check out the latest sales price data for the card, the number just keeps getting lower and lower and lower...
90. Suspended Chime-in-ation
Taking too long to write a post, so when you finally hit ‘submit,’ you see that someone else has already either said the same thing as you or posted answers to the questions you were asking.
91. Not Telling the Hole Story
Getting a great deal on a card, but when it arrives you see there’s a pinhole in it that you didn’t notice in the auction photos.
See also: Poke Cloak - when a seller purposely doesn’t mention that a card has a pinhole in it.
92. STD (Scammer Transmitted Disease) (also Crabs Grab)
Feeling repulsed when you see that somebody on the site posted a card they purchased from one of the notorious card-doctoring eBay sellers.
93. Gratifriction
The enjoyment one gets when purposefully posting something that he knows will piss people off and start arguments.
See also: Bickerwish - a low-life who’s always seeking the above.
94. Scotchdog
An expert in the removal of tape and associated residue from old cards and photographs.
95. 20,000 Major Leaguers Under the Sea (also Let Them Eat Wake)
The spurious tale of Sy Berger and Woody Gelman dumping cases of 1952 high numbers into the Atlantic Ocean.
96. Beginners Pluck
Centering your collection around picking up HOF rookie cards.
97. Gattling Bidder
With a bunch of auctions all ending in quick succession one after another, a person figuring out how to get all of his bids in on time.
See also: Gattling Nun - someone praying to God that all of their bids get in before the close.
98. Coffee Fable
Using a pot of Taster’s Choice or Maxwell House to artificially age a reprint in order to pass it off as real.
99. Screenstab
Taking a wild guess as to WTF a member’s user name means.
100. Coopersclown
Anyone arguing that there’s a place in the Hall of Fame for obvious steroids-users.
See also: Blockbarry - someone who wants no part of the ‘Barry Bonds belongs in The Hall’ debate.
See also: Roid Sage - a person condescendingly repeating the obligatory old chestnut, “Barry Bonds had HOF numbers way before he ever started juicing.”
101. Sheetrock Your World (also Drywally Grail)
The dream of every collector to one day find a precious and valuable cache of old baseball cards hidden behind a wall.
See also: Hopin’ House (slang) - walking into an old building and wondering if there are tobacco cards secreted somewhere in the walls.
See also: Collectromagnetic Radiation (futuristic) - how people will eventually be able to see if there are any cards hidden inside of any wall they look at.
102. Junkler (also Junkthusiast)
Someone digging through a shoebox full of old, worn out cards at a garage sale or flea market, hoping to find a jewel hidden amongst the rubbish.
103. Rays of Might
Asking whether a card is a ‘missing ink’ variation or just a card affected by overexposure to sunlight.
See also: Sunblather - trying to convince someone that an obviously sun-bleached card is a rare, missing ink variation.
See also: Fraudosynthesis - leaving a card out in the sun for a long time, and then attempting to convert the inevitable color fading into the energy of big-time dollar signs by calling it a ‘missing ink’ variation.
See also: Sunspurn - not buying the bogus story being sold to you about a 'missing ink' card.
See also: Varbitration - the ongoing argument over what actually constitutes a true error or variation card.
See also: Windiana Jones - a person blowing smoke while trying to convince everyone that his newfound discovery of a minor print anomaly is an earthshakingly rare variation.
104. Ascentigrade
After submitting your cards, the blind hope that the ‘bad’ graders are on vacation, so your cards will receive higher numbers.
105. BV Guide
A thread containing opinions on which of the sites involved in tracking and updating auction sales price data is the finest and/or most comprehensive.
106. Reflurishment
Restoring a timeworn artifact, such as a vintage sign or tobacco advertisement, and making it look absolutely gorgeous, almost better than the original.
107. Coslaboration
When you start a thread complaining about the grade your card received...and one after another members chime in to say, “No, it definitely looks like it got the exact right grade.”
108. Dual Bidizenship
Placing bids because you need a card for your collection, but also realizing you may be able to get it at such a good price that you can quickly flip it for a nice profit.
109. Ambookvaluance
Feeling happy when a member posts a great new pick-up, but at the same time wanting to search out the auction on eBay to see how much the schmuck overpaid for the card.
110. Rantebellum
The argument that cards up to the mid-1950’s should also be referred to as pre-war, because they predate our involvement in the Vietnam Conflict.
111. Mobb
A group of people competing against each other to win a Ty Cobb card.
See also: Snobb or Cobblehead (informal) - a person only interested in Cobb cards and memorabilia.
See also: Squobble - the argument regarding which T206 portrait is more desirable, the red or the green.
See also: Hatchet Cobb (also ScornCobb Gripe) - the evolution of Ty Cobb’s reputation and ‘good’ name being cleared up after the sensationalized and fictional tales told by Al Stump.
112. Certified Post Accounter
Someone who refers a member to a specific numbered post in the same thread to get the information they were asking about.
113. Whowunit?
A caper seeking to find out if it was a net54 member who won a certain auction, so you can attempt to buy a specific piece of it off of him.
114. Post Cardum Wahoos
The overwhelming jubilation you feel as you open up your mailbox to see that your latest eBay purchases have arrived.
115. Title Waive
Opening the main page and knowing exactly what new threads you can skip right over based solely on the subject line.
116. Kudossier
The pics of your collection you keep on hand as you seek out any excuse to once again post them in any semi-suitable thread to elicit compliments from other members.
117. Celebragtory
Posting a hugely expensive or treasured card in the new pick-ups thread without including any verbiage with it. The picture not only speaks for itself, but also makes everyone jealous.
118. Fincremental
Receiving a .5 bump in your card’s grade.
119. Cardilepsy
The fear that reading a newly posted long thread will only put you to sleep.
120. Great Smite North
Not considering the O-Pee-Chee cards of our northern neighbors to be ‘real’ cards.
121. Farther Christmas (also Ho Ho Holy Crap! or Santa Applause)
Taking part in the yearly 'Secret Santa' gift exchange, and being given something that goes way beyond what you were ever expecting to receive.
See also: Reverse Grinching (slang) - the act of sending out a very generous, bountiful gift.
See also: Lite Christmas (rarely used) - fearing the person who chose your name is going to stiff you.
See also: MistleWHOA! - feeling so joyful that you want to kiss the guy who sent you such a perfect gift.
And now my brain is total mush. I've put everything I got into this cyber-tome, so you better frickin' enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***ALERT!!!!!!*** I can't say this strongly enough. This is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!! Hopefully, laughs will abound!!!!
The story, all names, characters, and/or incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, and none should be inferred.
I encourage anyone stopping by to first scroll down and read #119, to know what the heck you're in for.
And we're off to the races...
51. Smiled Goose Chase
When a seller excitedly sees there’s a new post in his ‘for sale’ thread, but instead of being a buy offer, it’s only someone cheerfully saying, “Nice card. Good luck with the sale.”
52. Acute Bartisyndrome
The compulsion to amass a huge stockpile of the exact same card (and therefore corner the market on it).
See also: Finish Whine - being unable to complete your set due to the actions of someone suffering from the above.
53. Ebaysion
Hiding your auction purchases from your wife, girlfriend or significant other.
54. Shark Infested Borders (slang)
A card that is missing small pieces of the corners and/or sides.
55. Matrisnide
A bitter, rueful post talking about how pissed you were that your mother threw out your baseball cards.
See also: Motherwise - any statement that ruefully begins with “If only my mom hadn’t thrown at my cards...”
See also: Patripride - posting something that includes warm memories of your father’s influence on your card collecting.
56. Poppy Love
Ignoring what a card looks like and buying it only for the number on the slab.
See also: Numberjack - a person suffering from the above.
57. Fail Mary
Throwing up a huge, last minute snipe bid and still not winning the auction.
58. Digitor
Someone who quickly stops into a thread to add “+1” to it.
See also: Addnumeralator - inserting a non-standard word or number after the plus sign (i.e., “+1000” or “+ Infinity”)
59. Small Photatoes
Players who are so easily forgotten about that they appear on rookie cards in multiple years.
See also: Knucklestaller - the person at Topps who decided Gaylord Perry should appear on a multi-player rookie card the year after he had his own ‘regular’ card.
60. Met Dream
The desire to own a Tom Seaver rookie card.
61. “Remember the Paypalamo!”
The war cry of people who have been screwed over by using (or letting buyers use) PayPal Friends & Family instead of Goods & Services.
See also: Threepercenters - those who insist that potential buyers include the additional funds required to cover PayPal fees.
62. Behuddled (also Whoknows Tackle)
Looking through a stack of old football cards, and besides obvious names like Franco Harris or Joe Namath, having no clue whatsoever if any of these guys (playing all sorts of bizarre positions) are Hall of Famers.
63. Barnacling - ignoring the real ‘value’ of a card you have available for sale and sticking firmly, come hell or high water, to your bottom sell price, because it’s the amount you originally (over)paid for it.
See also: Bookscorner - a vendor who quotes high book value prices on every one of his cards, no matter what condition they’re actually in.
64. Mine! Field
Checking a post with cards for sale and seeing that many of them were already quickly scooped up, as they have “SOLD” typed next to them.
65. Schwinnterloper
The baseball card a kid sticks in his bicycle spokes.
See also: Spokelore - the dubious claim that you remember sticking a 1952 Mickey Mantle or Jackie Robinson card in your spokes as a kid.
See also: Schwinntennial - a person who reached young adulthood at the time it was popular to put baseball cards in bicycle spokes.
66. Two-Face Value
The love of severely miscut cards that include big pieces of other cards on them.
See also: “Double-Trunc” - a card which contains two or more significant (truncated) portions of separate cards.
See also: Phantomweight - the additional value a tobacco card garners by having a ghosted image on it.
See also: Polterheist - getting a great deal on one of these cards.
67. Picrimony
When you see a certain member’s avatar in a thread and immediately wonder, “What’s this guy complaining about THIS time?!!”
See also: Skipnore - instead of placing a member on your ‘ignore’ list, you decide to simply scroll right by his posts every time you see his screenname.
68. Peter Pantheon
The group of cards that live on in your heart as a wonderful memory, because you’ve kept them and loved them ever since you were a kid.
See also: Peter Panacea - knowing that no matter how much life gets you down, you can always find a cure for what ails you by opening up one of your old binders and quickly returning to the joy you felt as a kid collecting baseball cards.
69. Cornivore
A collector who puts the condition of corners above all other factors.
70. Mistookalike
A photo or illustration of a player on a card that isn’t actually the player whose name appears on the card.
71. Counterintelli-gents
Guys who purposefully post misleading information in an attempt to curtail other people’s interest (and eliminate potential rival bidders) in a card they want to win off eBay.
72. Dreadshot
Any bland, uninteresting Topps card that features nothing but the noggin of the ballplayer.
See also: Nomad Hatter - a card showing a player on his ‘new’ team, sporting a badly airbrushed cap.
73. Documental Midget
A person believing that any random Certificate Of Authenticity (COA) accompanying a piece makes it 100% legitimate.
See also: Rusepaper - a COA seemingly printed on the seller’s home computer.
74. Auramatic
Having the pleasingly fragrant, musty old cardboard scent which returns you to the wonders of your card collecting childhood.
75. Monochrofanatic (also Nunner)
An exuberant collector of old black and white cards and/or photographs.
See also: Panda-monium (or B/Wmusement) - the enjoyment of such pieces.
76. The Marlboro Boogeyman
The inability to confirm that a player on a tobacco card can be found with a certain back.
77. Walk-Off Moanrun
When a member is in a thread arguing with everybody and he ultimately states, “This will be my final post in this thread. I am outta here.”
78. Bent Franklin (slang)
A heavily creased or wrinkled card that you spent over a hundred dollars on.
79. Poolhardy
Spending a good amount of money buying slots in an organized ‘vintage set break,’ even though you know full well you’re going to walk away with the most common, worthless cards in the set.
See also: Emcee-headed - the host of the setbreak who has no clue how to pronounce the old ballplayer names as he reads out the cards.
80. The Gone-Too-Soon Landing (also Mourn Shot)
The race to be the first person to reach the main page and start a laudatory thread about a HOF’er who passed away that day.
81. John Wilkes Bruth
Someone using a last minute snipe bid to try to win a Bambino card.
See also: Ruthache - realizing your bid wasn’t high enough to win the card.
See also: Grassy Null - waiting until the final moments to bid hugely, but a second sniper suddenly comes out of nowhere to quash your bid and win the auction.
82. Left Hand of Fate (also Whitey Bored)
The fact that Topps seemingly had no other choice but to feature Whitey Ford holding out his southpaw towards the camera in the very same pose year after year after year.
See also: Gobbledybrook - having no idea what Topps was thinking when they put out Brooks Robinson’s 1958 card.
See also: Incomprejennsive - not being able to understand how any sentient human being doesn’t get completely annoyed every time they see yet another Hughie Jennings card showing his mouth wide open and his hands flying all over the place, apparently shouting, "Ee-Yah!"
83. Deniedsmaid
A person who was beaten by a single bid in an auction they were really hoping to win.
84. Backflippant
Having no qualms whatsoever about sending in a card for a regrade...but it ultimately comes back with a lower number on the label.
85. Ombidsman
The person at eBay who is supposedly investigating the fraudulent auctions that members report.
86. Sigfoot Hoax
When somebody asks members to specifically point out how they can tell an expensive autograph is a phony, and you get the sneaking feeling he’s only trying to pick up tips on how to better improve his penwork and forgery craft.
See also: Bicanery - pointing out an obvious forgery due to what type of pen was used.
87. Scangling
The process of slanting a card in the light to examine its surface.
See also: Tilt Jilt - angling a card in the sunlight and finding a wrinkle you never realized was there.
88. Traidorous
The feeling of treachery you get when seeing pictures or cards of an all time great dressed in the uniform of a rival team he was dumped off to in the twilight of his career.
89. Gregg Jeffleece
A person who, blinded by dollar signs, poured a ton of money into buying up the rookie cards of a player with a huge potential...only to ultimately end up losing his shirt in the endeavor.
See also: Phenomecon - the hyped-up sales strategy of eBayers trying to turn every single rookie player into the next Willie Mays or Mickey Mantle.
See also: Trout Pout - feeling remorse and anguish that you missed the chance to load up on Mike Trout rookie cards before the explosion in sales prices occurred.
See also: Inhastement - quickly jumping in to buy an expensive, red hot card that you know will be a great investment, but each time you then check out the latest sales price data for the card, the number just keeps getting lower and lower and lower...
90. Suspended Chime-in-ation
Taking too long to write a post, so when you finally hit ‘submit,’ you see that someone else has already either said the same thing as you or posted answers to the questions you were asking.
91. Not Telling the Hole Story
Getting a great deal on a card, but when it arrives you see there’s a pinhole in it that you didn’t notice in the auction photos.
See also: Poke Cloak - when a seller purposely doesn’t mention that a card has a pinhole in it.
92. STD (Scammer Transmitted Disease) (also Crabs Grab)
Feeling repulsed when you see that somebody on the site posted a card they purchased from one of the notorious card-doctoring eBay sellers.
93. Gratifriction
The enjoyment one gets when purposefully posting something that he knows will piss people off and start arguments.
See also: Bickerwish - a low-life who’s always seeking the above.
94. Scotchdog
An expert in the removal of tape and associated residue from old cards and photographs.
95. 20,000 Major Leaguers Under the Sea (also Let Them Eat Wake)
The spurious tale of Sy Berger and Woody Gelman dumping cases of 1952 high numbers into the Atlantic Ocean.
96. Beginners Pluck
Centering your collection around picking up HOF rookie cards.
97. Gattling Bidder
With a bunch of auctions all ending in quick succession one after another, a person figuring out how to get all of his bids in on time.
See also: Gattling Nun - someone praying to God that all of their bids get in before the close.
98. Coffee Fable
Using a pot of Taster’s Choice or Maxwell House to artificially age a reprint in order to pass it off as real.
99. Screenstab
Taking a wild guess as to WTF a member’s user name means.
100. Coopersclown
Anyone arguing that there’s a place in the Hall of Fame for obvious steroids-users.
See also: Blockbarry - someone who wants no part of the ‘Barry Bonds belongs in The Hall’ debate.
See also: Roid Sage - a person condescendingly repeating the obligatory old chestnut, “Barry Bonds had HOF numbers way before he ever started juicing.”
101. Sheetrock Your World (also Drywally Grail)
The dream of every collector to one day find a precious and valuable cache of old baseball cards hidden behind a wall.
See also: Hopin’ House (slang) - walking into an old building and wondering if there are tobacco cards secreted somewhere in the walls.
See also: Collectromagnetic Radiation (futuristic) - how people will eventually be able to see if there are any cards hidden inside of any wall they look at.
102. Junkler (also Junkthusiast)
Someone digging through a shoebox full of old, worn out cards at a garage sale or flea market, hoping to find a jewel hidden amongst the rubbish.
103. Rays of Might
Asking whether a card is a ‘missing ink’ variation or just a card affected by overexposure to sunlight.
See also: Sunblather - trying to convince someone that an obviously sun-bleached card is a rare, missing ink variation.
See also: Fraudosynthesis - leaving a card out in the sun for a long time, and then attempting to convert the inevitable color fading into the energy of big-time dollar signs by calling it a ‘missing ink’ variation.
See also: Sunspurn - not buying the bogus story being sold to you about a 'missing ink' card.
See also: Varbitration - the ongoing argument over what actually constitutes a true error or variation card.
See also: Windiana Jones - a person blowing smoke while trying to convince everyone that his newfound discovery of a minor print anomaly is an earthshakingly rare variation.
104. Ascentigrade
After submitting your cards, the blind hope that the ‘bad’ graders are on vacation, so your cards will receive higher numbers.
105. BV Guide
A thread containing opinions on which of the sites involved in tracking and updating auction sales price data is the finest and/or most comprehensive.
106. Reflurishment
Restoring a timeworn artifact, such as a vintage sign or tobacco advertisement, and making it look absolutely gorgeous, almost better than the original.
107. Coslaboration
When you start a thread complaining about the grade your card received...and one after another members chime in to say, “No, it definitely looks like it got the exact right grade.”
108. Dual Bidizenship
Placing bids because you need a card for your collection, but also realizing you may be able to get it at such a good price that you can quickly flip it for a nice profit.
109. Ambookvaluance
Feeling happy when a member posts a great new pick-up, but at the same time wanting to search out the auction on eBay to see how much the schmuck overpaid for the card.
110. Rantebellum
The argument that cards up to the mid-1950’s should also be referred to as pre-war, because they predate our involvement in the Vietnam Conflict.
111. Mobb
A group of people competing against each other to win a Ty Cobb card.
See also: Snobb or Cobblehead (informal) - a person only interested in Cobb cards and memorabilia.
See also: Squobble - the argument regarding which T206 portrait is more desirable, the red or the green.
See also: Hatchet Cobb (also ScornCobb Gripe) - the evolution of Ty Cobb’s reputation and ‘good’ name being cleared up after the sensationalized and fictional tales told by Al Stump.
112. Certified Post Accounter
Someone who refers a member to a specific numbered post in the same thread to get the information they were asking about.
113. Whowunit?
A caper seeking to find out if it was a net54 member who won a certain auction, so you can attempt to buy a specific piece of it off of him.
114. Post Cardum Wahoos
The overwhelming jubilation you feel as you open up your mailbox to see that your latest eBay purchases have arrived.
115. Title Waive
Opening the main page and knowing exactly what new threads you can skip right over based solely on the subject line.
116. Kudossier
The pics of your collection you keep on hand as you seek out any excuse to once again post them in any semi-suitable thread to elicit compliments from other members.
117. Celebragtory
Posting a hugely expensive or treasured card in the new pick-ups thread without including any verbiage with it. The picture not only speaks for itself, but also makes everyone jealous.
118. Fincremental
Receiving a .5 bump in your card’s grade.
119. Cardilepsy
The fear that reading a newly posted long thread will only put you to sleep.
120. Great Smite North
Not considering the O-Pee-Chee cards of our northern neighbors to be ‘real’ cards.
121. Farther Christmas (also Ho Ho Holy Crap! or Santa Applause)
Taking part in the yearly 'Secret Santa' gift exchange, and being given something that goes way beyond what you were ever expecting to receive.
See also: Reverse Grinching (slang) - the act of sending out a very generous, bountiful gift.
See also: Lite Christmas (rarely used) - fearing the person who chose your name is going to stiff you.
See also: MistleWHOA! - feeling so joyful that you want to kiss the guy who sent you such a perfect gift.
And now my brain is total mush. I've put everything I got into this cyber-tome, so you better frickin' enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!