A little Covid humor

[DaveW]

A little Covid Humor . . .

• I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

• This virus has done what no woman has been able to do: Cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!

• Looking to trade a 24-pack of toilet paper and half a can of Lysol for a 4 bedroom house. Message me!

• Quarantine has turned us into dogs: We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

• My husband and I decided we don’t want to have children. We will be telling them tonight at dinner…

• Summer 2020 is like being 16 again...Gas is cheap and I’m grounded.

• I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.

• Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

Feel free to add your own.

[steve B]

Actually had one in real life.
Did some work on masks for local hospitals at the makerspace. A couple of the other guys had a discussion about filters etc since one actually worked for a medical device manufacturer.

Once they found a solution, there was this awkward "not the high five, not a handshake, out of position for an elbow bump .... " They settled on a foot tap..

I turned to the other slightly old guy and said
"For 50 years it's been -don't kick your friends.... "

[Bigdaddy]

It used to be that you'd cough to cover up a fart.

Now you fart to cover up a cough.

#truestory

[ALBB]

thats some funny stuff !!

[ocjack]

My car is getting better mileage now. I'm up to 3 weeks per gallon.

Now I understand why my dog tries to run out the door whenever it's opened.

[samosa4u]

it used to be that you'd cough to cover up a fart.

Now you fart to cover up a cough.

#truestory

hahahahahaha!!!!!!

[hcv123]

I was Lol'ing at most of them - will definitely be paying them forward! Thanks for sharing.

[Snapolit1]

I've read countless articles about how difficult this whole pandemic thing has been on marriages. People in each other's faces all day, etc. Lots of stress. Too much togetherness. I must be very lucky. My wife and I have enjoyed every minute of being together. I've learned exactly how loving and caring my wife really is. Just this morning, for example, I woke up at 4:30 am to find her holding a pillow over my face so I didn't get COVID. Can you believe that?

[ocjack]

I've read countless articles about how difficult this whole pandemic thing has been on marriages. People in each other's faces all day, etc. Lots of stress. Too much togetherness. I must be very lucky. My wife and I have enjoyed every minute of being together. I've learned exactly how loving and caring my wife really is. Just this morning, for example, I woke up at 4:30 am to find her holding a pillow over my face so I didn't get COVID. Can you believe that?

She's a keeper.

[Case12]

When you order pizza just so you can meet someone new.

[Bigdaddy]

When you order pizza just so you can meet someone new.

Old college trick.

[LibSuperstar]

I've read countless articles about how difficult this whole pandemic thing has been on marriages. People in each other's faces all day, etc. Lots of stress. Too much togetherness. I must be very lucky. My wife and I have enjoyed every minute of being together. I've learned exactly how loving and caring my wife really is. Just this morning, for example, I woke up at 4:30 am to find her holding a pillow over my face so I didn't get COVID. Can you believe that?

Oh, that's love.

[kkkkandp]

Funny now in New Jersey. Probably won't be as funny in January!

[Republicaninmass]

Since covid lasted all summer, I wonder how many folks enjoyed corona with Lyme?

[tschock]

While the detective interviewed the bank tellers about the robbery, all they could tell him was that the robber was wearing a mask.

[Leon]

While the detective interviewed the bank tellers about the robbery, all they could tell him was that the robber was wearing a mask.

I wonder if masked robberies have gone up during the pandemic? Another possible boon for mask makers.

Every thread...

https://luckeycards.com/crazy2.jpg

[bnorth]

I wonder if masked robberies have gone up during the pandemic? Another possible boon for mask makers.

Every thread...

https://luckeycards.com/crazy2.jpg

That cart being pulled by 2 goats is awesome.:)