JimStinson
08-11-2013, 09:07 AM
No One At Baseball Game Has Any Idea What Inning It Is, What Score Is, What Teams Playing Sports News • Sports • Baseball • ISSUE 49•32 • Aug 10, 2013
CINCINNATI—Despite their earnest efforts to follow along with the action during Friday’s matchup between the San Diego Padres and the Cincinnati Reds, not a single person attending the baseball game currently has any idea what inning it is, what the score is, or even which teams are playing, sources confirmed.
“Early on, I was trying to pay attention, but at this point I’m completely lost,” said spectator Blake Kessler, just one of thousands of individuals in the Great American Ball Park stands who told reporters that they could “only guess” as to the status and participants of the ongoing matchup. “The last thing I remember is that first team getting a couple of hits, but I’m not sure if they scored any runs after that. Man, that must have been at least an hour ago.” “Where’s the scoreboard?” Kessler added.
While those attending the game claimed that they had initially attempted to keep track of varying aspects of the contest such as the number of outs, the player at bat, and which color uniforms each team was wearing, every patron admitted that they had long lost track of these and other details of the contest.
Specifically, a large number of ticket holders said that, before the first out had even been recorded, they “just kind of zoned out for a while.” After making an effort to pay attention, the crowd reportedly entered a deep state of confusion regarding the count, whether the game was in the top or bottom of the inning, and even the name of a single player currently or previously on the field.
More alarmingly, several of these bewildered baseball fans claimed that, at this point, they saw no way of orienting themselves in any way. “I let my mind wander for a bit, and now I have absolutely no idea what I’m watching,” said ballpark patron Jeffrey Arnold, noting that he didn’t remember the game starting and couldn’t say how long he had been sitting in his seat in the left field bleachers. “If I had to guess, I would say the score is 4-0, but I have no idea why I think that. I’m reasonably sure I remember someone saying something about a 4, though.”
“But, hold on, hold on, one of these teams has to be the Reds, right?” Arnold continued. “I’m pretty sure we’re in Cincinnati and that’s where they play. Right?”
While the attendees’ collective confusion primarily has revolved around those topics of uncertainty directly pertaining to the ongoing matchup, sources confirmed that many patrons’ uneasiness quickly led them to question the more basic aspects of their surroundings and such have expanded into broader matters of human existence.
“If none of us know what is happening on the field, can any of us be assured that we’re even here watching this so-called baseball game?” shouted spectator Morgan Reilly, addressing the other dazed and anxious men and women in his seating section. “What’s my name? Am I alive? Do I exist? Do any of us? Did they just make a pitching change? How did I get here?”
“Oh, God, what is this? And what are you, God?” Reilly added.
At press time, there were seven innings remaining in the ballgame.
_________________
I know its satire :), but in order to be funny all satire has some basis in fact. The question is often asked , "What does the future of collecting baseball autographs look like ?" , Since it seems that collecting for most of us is a way of revisiting our youth, not just the hero's we remember but those our fathers and grandfathers told us about.
So the question is how many fans today actually watch baseball games ?? or follow a complete season ? The greatest thing baseball has ever had going for it is its history, its nostalgia.
What is different about the modern game of baseball ? For one thing the average game takes 3-4 hours to play and starts at night and in many cases ends after midnight. Compare this to the average baseball game played in 1960 which took on average 2- 2 1/2 hours to play , with many of the games in the (shorter schedule) played during the day, Meaning you could play hooky from school or duck out of the office early catch a game and still be home for dinner. Prior to 1960 the further back you go prior to the advent of relief specialists , multiple pitching changes....VELCRO (man ! how many times is it required for the batter to adjust his STUFF) , a baseball game took about two hours to play to completion.
If you drove around your neighborhood hardly a baseball diamond was not in use , Now a days if you can even find a diamond its empty. With today's modern distractions , why work up a sweat playing a real game of ball when you can play a "virtual" game at home. Simply put there were LESS things to occupy our attention 30 years ago.
As collectors we collect what we cherished as kids , In 5 years or 10 years as older collectors (like me, who lived and breathed baseball) exit the hobby will today's kids look back fondly to days spent at the ballpark ? I don't think so.
Personally speaking I doubt that I could name six contemporary players, and can't remember the last time I watched a baseball game from start to finish. But could recite from memory entire rosters & stats from the 1970's going all the way back to the dead ball era. Compared to other "baby boomers" I don't think I'm alone in this regard, So when the next generation of collectors takes the field , will they even KNOW who Mickey Mantle was or even care....Ty Who ? Babe What ?
I hope I'm wrong but as satire mirrors reality .....Its difficult to see the rich legacy of "Our National Pastime" continuing on past this generation.
_________________________
jim@stinsonsports.com
Vintage autographs For Sale Now
stinsonsports.com
CINCINNATI—Despite their earnest efforts to follow along with the action during Friday’s matchup between the San Diego Padres and the Cincinnati Reds, not a single person attending the baseball game currently has any idea what inning it is, what the score is, or even which teams are playing, sources confirmed.
“Early on, I was trying to pay attention, but at this point I’m completely lost,” said spectator Blake Kessler, just one of thousands of individuals in the Great American Ball Park stands who told reporters that they could “only guess” as to the status and participants of the ongoing matchup. “The last thing I remember is that first team getting a couple of hits, but I’m not sure if they scored any runs after that. Man, that must have been at least an hour ago.” “Where’s the scoreboard?” Kessler added.
While those attending the game claimed that they had initially attempted to keep track of varying aspects of the contest such as the number of outs, the player at bat, and which color uniforms each team was wearing, every patron admitted that they had long lost track of these and other details of the contest.
Specifically, a large number of ticket holders said that, before the first out had even been recorded, they “just kind of zoned out for a while.” After making an effort to pay attention, the crowd reportedly entered a deep state of confusion regarding the count, whether the game was in the top or bottom of the inning, and even the name of a single player currently or previously on the field.
More alarmingly, several of these bewildered baseball fans claimed that, at this point, they saw no way of orienting themselves in any way. “I let my mind wander for a bit, and now I have absolutely no idea what I’m watching,” said ballpark patron Jeffrey Arnold, noting that he didn’t remember the game starting and couldn’t say how long he had been sitting in his seat in the left field bleachers. “If I had to guess, I would say the score is 4-0, but I have no idea why I think that. I’m reasonably sure I remember someone saying something about a 4, though.”
“But, hold on, hold on, one of these teams has to be the Reds, right?” Arnold continued. “I’m pretty sure we’re in Cincinnati and that’s where they play. Right?”
While the attendees’ collective confusion primarily has revolved around those topics of uncertainty directly pertaining to the ongoing matchup, sources confirmed that many patrons’ uneasiness quickly led them to question the more basic aspects of their surroundings and such have expanded into broader matters of human existence.
“If none of us know what is happening on the field, can any of us be assured that we’re even here watching this so-called baseball game?” shouted spectator Morgan Reilly, addressing the other dazed and anxious men and women in his seating section. “What’s my name? Am I alive? Do I exist? Do any of us? Did they just make a pitching change? How did I get here?”
“Oh, God, what is this? And what are you, God?” Reilly added.
At press time, there were seven innings remaining in the ballgame.
_________________
I know its satire :), but in order to be funny all satire has some basis in fact. The question is often asked , "What does the future of collecting baseball autographs look like ?" , Since it seems that collecting for most of us is a way of revisiting our youth, not just the hero's we remember but those our fathers and grandfathers told us about.
So the question is how many fans today actually watch baseball games ?? or follow a complete season ? The greatest thing baseball has ever had going for it is its history, its nostalgia.
What is different about the modern game of baseball ? For one thing the average game takes 3-4 hours to play and starts at night and in many cases ends after midnight. Compare this to the average baseball game played in 1960 which took on average 2- 2 1/2 hours to play , with many of the games in the (shorter schedule) played during the day, Meaning you could play hooky from school or duck out of the office early catch a game and still be home for dinner. Prior to 1960 the further back you go prior to the advent of relief specialists , multiple pitching changes....VELCRO (man ! how many times is it required for the batter to adjust his STUFF) , a baseball game took about two hours to play to completion.
If you drove around your neighborhood hardly a baseball diamond was not in use , Now a days if you can even find a diamond its empty. With today's modern distractions , why work up a sweat playing a real game of ball when you can play a "virtual" game at home. Simply put there were LESS things to occupy our attention 30 years ago.
As collectors we collect what we cherished as kids , In 5 years or 10 years as older collectors (like me, who lived and breathed baseball) exit the hobby will today's kids look back fondly to days spent at the ballpark ? I don't think so.
Personally speaking I doubt that I could name six contemporary players, and can't remember the last time I watched a baseball game from start to finish. But could recite from memory entire rosters & stats from the 1970's going all the way back to the dead ball era. Compared to other "baby boomers" I don't think I'm alone in this regard, So when the next generation of collectors takes the field , will they even KNOW who Mickey Mantle was or even care....Ty Who ? Babe What ?
I hope I'm wrong but as satire mirrors reality .....Its difficult to see the rich legacy of "Our National Pastime" continuing on past this generation.
_________________________
jim@stinsonsports.com
Vintage autographs For Sale Now
stinsonsports.com