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View Full Version : Fantasy - How to Sell a Beater


frankbmd
09-26-2012, 06:26 PM
Premise -- Every card has a history. How can a card be pristine that is 100 years old. Most aren't, but how did they get that way. Show a beater and then describe the defects to give provenance to the card for a prospective buyer. In other words create a story for your card that could be used in a seller's listing on Ebay or wherever. I'll get the ball rolling.......but feel free to create a tale for your own beater.

A true 1/1 this Turkey Red card featuring Harry Niles can be the centerpiece of your collection. Please note the notching on the upper and lower borders that were created when this card was ripped off the wall of a young lad before he was molested by the previous owner. Crime Scene Investigators skillfully removed a portion of the batting circle, soiled with bodily fluids, in their investigation used in the prosecution of this pervert. After his conviction the previous owner spent 18 years in solitary confinement with his Niles card. To his credit this meticulous felon used the card as an improvised dust pan to remove rat droppings from the floor of his cell. Only once did the card sustain damage attributed to the rat with a bite in the lower left corner. An advanced collector should not overlook three small cracks issuing from the corners of the triangle. The card does feature 6 reasonably sharp corners though, 3 on the corners of the card and 3 on the corners of the triangle.

Harry Niles was initially a left handed hitter as shown on this card. His unusual grip on the bat, however, resulted in a fractured left thumb while trying to bunt against Walter Johnson. This obviously occurred early in his career as he is currently referenced as a right handed hitter only. This injury severely impacted the career of this touted future HOFer, who ended his career with statistics most similar to the legendary Fritz Maisel.

I’m sure you’ll agree that this is a rare chance. to own a piece of both baseball and penal history. Experts predict unlimited upside potential in penal memorabilia market.
Crime labs across the country have been hoarding these treasures for years with no end in sight. Rarity in the market place equals investment opportunity.

Please note: A small ring is affixed to the back of the card so that you can proudly hang your purchase for display without having to deface the card in any way.

JollyRoger
09-26-2012, 07:47 PM
What???¿¿¿

ullmandds
09-27-2012, 11:48 AM
frank...i dig your creativity!!! Cool idea!

novakjr
09-27-2012, 12:49 PM
Do you like baseball? Do you have a foot fetish? Well now you can have the best of both worlds. This Ty Cobb 1926-1931 Exhibit PC back was once owned by world renowned foot fetishist/actor/director Erich von Stroheim. Enrich is often considered to be the Quentin Tarantino of the silent film era... His fetish was notoriously so advanced that he cut up all his cards and only kept the feet portions...

This is a true 1/1, as it is the only know remaining card from his collection, Erich's third wife Valerie Germonprez destroyed his entire collection upon finding out about his affair with actress Denise Vernac, with the exception of this card, as it was safely tucked away in a script from "Walking down Broadway"(also known as "Hello, Sister!").

Don't pass up this chance at history...With so many famous names attached to this card, it won't last long..