What are some of your favorite all-time movie lines?

[thekingofclout]

"Put...the coffee...DOWN. Coffee is for Closers."

Alec Baldwin to Jack Lemmon in the tremendous film, Glengarry Glen Ross. BTW... Writer David Mamet won a Pulitzer Prize for the story. Not an Oscar, but a Pulitzer!

[Robextend]

Goodfellas: "No, no, no, no, no. You insulted him a little bit. You got a little bit out of order yourself."

Scarface: "You wanna f$$k with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!"

"Another great night here at the Babylon, right? Okay. All right! Do another gram, you'll all be babblin' on."

Old School: "You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy."

[k-dog]

"I bet you're the kind of guy that would f*ck a person in the ass and not even have the g*ddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around. I'll be watching you."

-Sergeant Hartman:Full Metal Jacket

[Leon]

"What in the wide, wide world of sports is goin' on around here? Ya' look like a bunch of Kansas City fa**ots"

[Ease]

Dirty Harry - "When a naked man's chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he's not out collecting for the Red Cross."

Outlaw Josey Wales - "Don't p!$$ down my back and tell me it's rainin."

[barrysloate]

Here are three favorites:

"I could've been something Charlie...I could've been a contender, instead of a bum, which is what I am."

Marlon Brando to Rod Steiger in "On the Waterfront"
__________

"Well, nobody's perfect."

Joe E. Brown to Jack Lemmon in "Some Like it Hot".
___________


Margaret Dumont: Your excellency, this certainly is a gala day.

Groucho: Well, a gal a day is enough for me, I don't think I could handle any more.

Groucho Marx in "Duck Soup"

[GoldenAge50s]

"What we've got here is (a) failure to communicate".

(Strother Martin to Paul Newman--Cool Hand Luke)

[HRBAKER]

Eastwood to Bradford Dillman in pool hall: "Your mouthwash ain't makin' it!"

Dean Wormer in Animal House: "Fat, Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life son."

[Tsaiko]

''Now youse can't leave!'' Chazz Palminteri - To the motorcycle gang in A Bronx Tale.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2_twxkXCUU

[Vol]

Carlito's Way, last scene.

"Getting the shakes now, last call for drinks, bars closing down...Sun's out, where are we going for breakfast? Don't want to go far. Rough night, tired baby....Tired."

[Robextend]

''Now youse can't leave!'' Chazz Palminteri - To the motorcycle gang in A Bronx Tale.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2_twxkXCUU

Whoa!! That's a great one!

I also like this one from "Marked for Death"

"There's only two things stopping ya, fear and common sense"

[thekingofclout]

''Now youse can't leave!'' Chazz Palminteri - To the motorcycle gang in A Bronx Tale.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2_twxkXCUU

Great call! This is probably my all-time favorite line. And after Sonny and the boys beat the holy crap out of the bikers, Sonny kicks the lead biker in the head while shouting... "Ruin my fu**ing LUNCH!" and then gets in one more kick to the head. I love it!

[Leon]

Great call! This is probably my all-time favorite line. And after Sonny and the boys beat the holy crap out of the bikers, Sonny kicks the lead biker in the head while shouting... "Ruin my fu**ing LUNCH!" and then gets in one more kick to the head. I love it!

Now that was a great scene!!

[Writehooks]

Five faves:

"Soylent Green is people!"
– Charlton Heston, at the end of one of the all-time cult classics

"That's the way it is, lady — the rich get richer and the poor get drunk."
– Jackie Gleason to Julie Harris in "Requiem For A Heavyweight"

"I'm tryin' to hear the f**kin' song!"
– Blood-soaked Hanson brother to referee in "Slap Shot"

"From hell's heart I stab at thee ... for hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee."
– Ricardo Montalban (as Khan), just before he detonates the Genesis Device in "Star Trek II"

"Have you ever made love to an animal, Jack?"
– Charles Grodin to Robert Di Nero in "Midnight Run"

[Tsaiko]

Dog Day Afternoon - When Al Pacino's character (Sonny) asks John Cazale's character (Sal) if there's any special country he wants to go to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS61hWuh43Y

And of course, there's this classic from Taxi Driver.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyZ4EINmDU8&feature=related

And from GoodFellas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B05INM57xO8

[Kawika]

"Hi. My name is Rick and I'll be your waiter."
-Humphrey Bogart to Ingrid Bergman and Paul Henreid in Casablanca.

[4815162342]

"That's a negative, Ghost Rider. The pattern is full."

"Yes, the way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?"

[rhettyeakley]

"You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

"The funny thing is, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook"
or from the same movie...
"Andy Dufresne, who crawled through a river of s**t and came out clean on the other side"

My personal favorite is that last one!:D

[novakjr]

There's plenty of great lines. Just for now I'm gonna stick with some Baseketball quotes.

Squeak Scolari: "Goddammit! I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times... I'm outta here! "

Baxter Cain: "When I see one of baseketball's hottest stars with less than 20 dollars in his pocket, driving an American car and sharing a small house with two other guys, you know what that says to me?"
Douglas "Swish" Reemer: "Homos?"

Baxter Cain: "Do you think Shaq got rich playing in Orlando? Hardly, he made his fortune moving to L.A. You know how much he makes now?"
Douglas "Swish" Reemer: "As much as he made playing in college?"

Dan Patrick: "With the first nine months of the Baseketball postseason out of the way, the playoff picture is starting to emerge."
Kenny Mayne: "So, with last night's victory over Boston, next week the Milwaukee Beers must beat Indianapolis in order to advance to Charlotte. That's in an effort to reduce their magic number to three."
Dan Patrick: "Right, and then the Beers can advance to the National Eastern Division North to play Tampa."
Kenny Mayne: :So, if the Beers beat Detroit and Denver beats Atlanta in the American Southwestern Division East Northern, then Milwaukee goes to the Denslow Cup, unless Baltimore can upset Buffalo and Charlotte ties Toronto, then Oakland would play LA and Pittsburgh in a blind choice round robin. And if no clear winner emerges from all of this, a two-man sack race will be held on consecutive Sundays until a champion can be crowned. "

Maybe a little Tropic Thunder

Les Grossman: "Now I want you to take a step back... and literally f*** your own face!

Kirk Lazarus: "Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, "Being There." Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed"

Les Grossman: "I couldn't have done it without you."
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: "Really?"
Les Grossman: "No, d*ckhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties."

[D. Bergin]

From "Blood Simple" one of my favorite movies:

Marty: [to Ray, out in back of the bar] You think I'm funny, I'm an a**hole? No no no... what's funny is HER... what's funny is, I had you two followed, because if it's not you she's sleeping with, it's someone else... what's funny is, when she gives you that LOOK, and says, 'I don't know what you're talkin' about, Ray, I ain't done nothin' funny'... but the funniest thing to ME is... you think SHE came back HERE for YOU... THAT'S what's F**KIN' FUNNY!

Later in the film:

Abby to Ray: I ain't done nothing funny.


The genius part about this pair of scenes is they intersect perfectly 40 minutes apart from each other, and like the rest of the movie, they have a completely different meaning to the characters in the movie, then they do to the audience watching the movie.

Nobody outsmarts anybody but themselves.

[slidekellyslide]

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Vision Quest

I was in the room here one day… watchin’ the Mexican channel on TV. I don’t know nothin’ about Pele. I’m watchin’ what this guy can do with a ball and his feet. Next thing I know, he jumps in the air and flips into a somersault and kicks the ball in – upside down and backwards… the goddamn goalie never knew what the f*** hit him. Pele gets excited and he rips off his jersey and starts running around the stadium waving it around his head. Everybody’s screaming in Spanish. I’m here, sitting alone in my room, and I start crying. [pause] That’s right, I start crying. Because another human being, a species that I happen to belong to, could kick a ball, and lift himself, and the rest of us sad-assed human beings, up to a better place to be, if only for a minute… let me tell ya, kid – it was pretty goddamned glorious. It ain’t the six minutes… it’s what happens in that six minutes.

Sixteen Candles

We got seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants...we're safe as kittens.

[Anthony S.]

"The Third Man"

Orson Welles' Cuckoo Clock speech:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNo8ld7ak8w&feature=related

[judsonhamlin]

Some off-beat choices

"Duke, let's do some crimes"
"Let's get sushi and not pay"

"It's like you're thinking of a plate of shrimp, and someone says 'plate' or 'shrimp' or 'plate of shrimp' out of the blue"

Repo Man

and

"It's a Mr. Death, dear. He's here about the reaping. "

Meaning of Life

and

"I'm drinking wine and eating cheese, and catching some rays, you know.

"Ya know, a deal deal; maybe the guy's a Republican

Kelly's Heroes

[mark evans]

I agree that Blood Simple is a great movie.

But, also from Casablanca, Bogart to Bergman:

"Go ahead and shoot. You'll be doing me a favor."

And, from Animal House, Bluto:

"Seven years of college down the drain."

[daywalker2029]

Al Czervik: [drops his bow anchor on Judge Smails' sailboat, sinking it] Hey, you scratched my anchor!

[FUBAR]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tktNZpUTMoQ&NR=1


"no more yankee my wanky!, the Donger needs food!"

[bigtrain]

Ernie Capadino: I'm Ernie Capadino. I'm a baseball scout. I saw you playing today. Not bad, not bad. You ever heard of Walter Harvey, makes Harvey bars - you know, the candy?
Dottie Hinson: Yeah. We feed them to the cows when they're constipated.

[Jimmy has just signed a baseball for a little boy]
Little Boy: [reading] Avoid the clap, Jimmy Dugan.
Jimmy Dugan: Hey, that's good advice!

[seablaster]

There are so many good quotes from these two, but among my favorites:

"In town you're the law, out here it's me. Don't push it. Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe."

"Run! Go! Get to the choppa!"

:D

[Robextend]

Will: Do you like apples?
Clark: Yeah.
Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?

[Writehooks]

Wealthy hood: "Hey Rock, you should get into condominiums."
Rocky Balboa: "Geez, I dunno Mr. Gazzo ... I never use 'em."
– From Rocky (1976)


"It's not about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit ... and keep going forward."
— Rocky Balboa to his son Robert, in "Rocky Balboa" (2007)


"I heard ya got a date, Rock. Here's some advice: take her to da zoo. I heard retards love da zoo."
– Gazzo's driver, Rocky (1976)

[Theoldprofessor]

"Fill yo'r hand, you son of a bitch!"
-- "True Grit," either version

"You can't handle the truth!"
-- In fact, Nicholson's whole concluding speech in "A Few Good Men"

[Kawika]

"Have you ever heard of the Giant Rat of Sumatra?"
-Basil Rathbone in The Case of the Sussex Vampire

[White Borders]

Gina: Well Sinead O'Rebellion. Shock me, shock me, shock me, with that deviant behavior.
Debra: God, that is so clever. I swear you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.
Empire Records

I'll be back.
The Terminator

Hasta la vista, baby.
Terminator 2

Always with the negative waves, Moriarty. Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
Kelly's Heroes

Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper now about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a miracle. It's in the hole! It's in the hole!
Caddyshack

I love the smell of napalm in the morning!
Apocalypse Now!

Houston, we have a problem.
Apollo 13

Bust a deal, face the wheel!
Beyond Thunderdome

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.
The Blues Brothers

[jerrys]

http://home.roadrunner.com/~jspillman/wav.htm

[thekingofclout]

"Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come."

Field of Dream Quote
Terence Mann:
(James Earl Jones)

[mark evans]

Redford to Newman:

"Keep thinking, Butch. That's what you're good at."

[mark evans]

Forgot to mention a couple Brando favorites:

to Karl Malden:

"You may be a one-eyed jack around here...but I've seen the other side of your face."

'One-Eyed Jacks'


to John Saxon:

"Thanks for holding my horse. Don't do it again."

'The Appaloosa'

[E93]

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."
Boggy, Casablanca

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[White Borders]

Gooooooooooooooood morning vietnam!

[thekingofclout]

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the f--k do you think you're talkin' to?"

[tedzan]

CASABLANCA (1942)

Claude Rains to his police after Bogie shot the Nazi (Major Strasser) in the final scene at the airport......

" Major Strasser has been shot....go and round up all the usual suspects "


THE GRADUATE (1967)

In the theme song "Mrs. Robinson", by Simon and Garfunkel......

" Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you,
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson?
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away "

But did you know....that these lyrics in this song were never sung in the movie (due to Joe DiMaggio's request).



TED Z

[steve B]

Some good ones there, many of mine are pretty obscure. Movie title hidden just below the line to make it a bit more fun.

Nice flame job, hows about a litle touchup?
Deal of the century


C1 You have two choices- submit to the will of the shogun or commit Hara-Kiri with your son.
C2 you are wrong. I have a third choice.
shogun assassin


Father says not to count how many enemies he's killed. Just to pray for their souls. But if I dont keep count how will I know how many souls to pray for
(Swordplay)
Three hundred and .... Eighty five.
shogun assassin

Cabbie- Hey! get out of the road! who do you think you are!
Beefy guy- I am Hercules.
Hercules in New York, Arnolds first movie, but dubbed by someone else since his accent was so bad

Steve B

[Browncow75]

Tombstone (one of my faves):

Johnny Ringo - You must be Doc Holliday...
Doc: Thats the rumor
Johnny: You retired too?
Doc: Not me, Im in my prime!
Johnny: Yeah, you look it!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wyatt Earp: You gonna do somethin', or just stand there and bleed?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Doc: Nonsense, I have not yet begun to defile myself!
------------------------

As well as many more!

[Exhibitman]

I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should.
--Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle

Tuco: God is on our side because he hates the Yanks.
Man With No Name: God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.
--The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

Ali G: Sex can lead to some terrible things: herpes, scrot rot or even worse, something called a relationship.

Blazing Saddles Quotes

You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.

You get back here, you pious, candy-ass sidewinder. I was born here, an I was raised here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin bushwackin, hornswagglin, cracker croaker is gonna ruin my biscuit cutter!

I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.

Throw out your hands.
Stick out your tush.
Hands on your hips, give 'em a push.
You'll be surprised you're doing the French mistake.
Voila.

All right, we'll give some land to the n****rs and the c++++s, but we DON'T WANT THE IRISH.

Taggart: I got it. I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: Naw. We rape the s+++ out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous.

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening thru a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto.
Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto"? "Ditto," you provincial putz?

Mongo only pawn in game of life.

We will now read from the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and duck!

Young Frankenstein

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.

A riot is an ungly thing... undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun--Inspector Kemp

Monty Python

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off and his penis...

Minstrel: [singing] Brave Sir Robin ran away...
Sir Robin: *No!*
Minstrel: [singing] bravely ran away away...
Sir Robin: *I didn't!*
Minstrel: [singing] When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Sir Robin: *I never did!*
Minstrel: [singing] Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.
Sir Robin: *Oh, you liars!*
Minstrel: [singing] Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.

You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!

Strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

If I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.

Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...

King of Swamp Castle: Did you kill all those guards?
Sir Lancelot: Um... oh, yes! Sorry.
King of Swamp Castle: They cost fifty pounds each!
Sir Lancelot: Well, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.
King of Swamp Castle: Well, I can understand that.

Humphrey: All right, settle down. Settle down... Now, before I begin the lesson, will those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you're not getting your hair cut, unless you've got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you've had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you. Now...
Wymer: Sir?
Humphrey: Yes, Wymer?
Wymer: My younger brother's going out with Dibble this weekend, sir, but I'm not having my hair cut today, sir.
Pupils: [chuckling]
Wymer: So, do I move my clothes down, or...
Humphrey: I do wish you'd listen, Wymer. It's perfectly simple. If you're not getting your hair cut, you don't have to move your brother's clothes down to the lower peg. You simply collect his note before lunch, after you've done your scripture prep, when you've written your letter home, before rest, move your own clothes onto the lower peg, greet the visitors, and report to Mr. Viney that you've had your chit signed.

Grim Reaper: Shut up, you American. You Americans, all you do is talk, and talk, and say "let me tell you something" and "I just wanna say." Well, you're dead now, so shut up.


Risky Business Quotes

I don't believe this! I've got a trig midterm tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.

Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the f**k." "What the f**k" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

Sometimes you just gotta say, "What the f**k, make your move."

It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four letter word.

In times of economic uncertainty, never ever f**k with another man’s livelihood.

It was great the way her mind worked. No guilt, no doubts, no fear. None of my specialities. Just the shameless pursuit of immediate gratification. What a capitalist.

Bad News Bears

Tanner Boyle: All we got on this team are a buncha Jews, spics, n****rs, pansies, and a booger-eatin’ moron!

You didn't come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can-- Coach Morris Buttermaker

Tanner Boyle: Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!

Tanner Boyle: Those Yankees are real turds.

Fight Club Quotes

Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy s**t we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Tyler Durden: All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I f**k like you wanna f**k, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

Tyler Durden: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your f**king khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Tyler Durden: Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?
Narrator: No, no, I... don't...
Tyler Durden: Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.
Narrator: It isn't?
Tyler Durden: We don't need him!

Tyler Durden: Do you know what a duvee is?
Narrator: It's a comforter...
Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvee is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?
Narrator: ...Consumers?
Tyler Durden: Right. We’re consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
Narrator: Martha Stewart.
Tyler Durden: F**k Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So f**k off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.

Tyler Durden: The liberator who destroyed my property has realigned my perceptions.

Tyler Durden: Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction...

Narrator: I flipped through catalogs and wondered: What kind of dining set defines me as a person?

Narrator: Tyler, I'm grateful to you; for everything that you've done for me. But this is too much. I don't want this.
Tyler Durden: What do you want? Wanna go back to the s**t job, f**kin' condo world, watching sitcoms? F**k you, I won't do it.

Marla Singer: I've been going to Debtors Anonymous. You want to see some really f**ked-up people...

Tyler Durden: Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly cannot think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.

Tyler Durden: My dad never went to college, so it was real important that I go. So I graduate, I call him up long distance, I say "Dad, now what?" He says, "Get a job." Now I'm 25, make my yearly call again. I say Dad, "Now what?" He says, "I don't know, get married." We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.


"To speak of just or unjust in itself is quite senseless; in itself, of course, no injury, assault, exploitation, destruction can be 'unjust,' since life operates essentially, that is in its basic functions, through injury, assault, exploitation, destruction and simply cannot be thought of at all without this character." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

Most moral philosophers consciously or unconsciously assume the essential correctness of our cultural sexual code ... they debate how the human animal can be induced or forced to obey this code, blandly ignoring the high probability that the heartaches and tragedies they see all around them originate in the code itself rather than the failure to abide by the code.
--Jubal Harshaw, Stranger In A Strange Land

Grok!--Stranger In a Strange Land

The more you drive, the less intelligent you are--Repo Man


Mr. Braddock: Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?
Benjamin: You got me.

[Vol]

"Stay gold, Poneyboy. Stay gold."

the Outsiders

[glenv]

In memory of Leslie Nielsen:

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing smoking"

"Surely you must be joking"
"I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley"

"You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital."
"A hospital? What is it?"
"It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing drinking"

"Nice beaver"
"Thank you. I just had it stuffed"

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing amphetamines"

"The truth hurts, doesn’t it, Hapsburg? Oh sure, maybe not as much as landing on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts!"

"All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close. Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes"

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue"

[powderfinger]

Clint Eastwood in High Plains Drifter

"It's what people know about themselves inside that makes them afraid."

and on a lighter note

"MY BLUE BLANKET! Give me back my blue blanket!"

Leo (Gene Wilder) to Max (Zero Mostel) in The Producers

[barrysloate]

A favorite of mine from The Producers:

Max: The play was wrong, the actors were wrong, the director was wrong...where did I go right!?

[mark evans]

"I'm shooting now, Fat Man. When I miss, you can shoot."

Paul Newman
'The Hustler'

[mark evans]

"Keep thinking, Butch. That's what you're good at."

Robert Redford

[richieb315]

Rocky. Get up you son of a b***h because Mickey loves ya.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Uctq_aY2Ww

[Republicaninmass]

Sam Baldwin: Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin: Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me. It scared the shit out of every man in America.

from sleepless in Seattle

[Lordstan]

A little long, but a favorite of mine from Good Will Hunting.


Sean: Thought about what you said to me the other day. About my painting.
Will: Oh
Sean: Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me. I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep and haven't thought about you since. You know what occurred to me?
Will: No
Sean: You're just a kid. You don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Will: Why, thank you.
Sean: It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.
Will: Nope
Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny... on every art book ever written. Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seeing that. If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman... and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably ah throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap... and watched him gasp his last breath lookin' to you for help. If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin' like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleepin' sittin' up in a hospital room... for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes... that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you. I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan, right? Do you think that I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been - how you feel, who you are - because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because - You know what? I can't learn anything from you... I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

[Scott T]

"Over? Over? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

Bluto Blutarsky
Animal House

[VinTX]

here's a few of mine...

"...I don't want money, and I don't want medals...what I DO want is for you to stand there in that fa**oty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some f***ing courtesy...you have to ask me nicely!"

-Colonel Jessup; A Few Good Men

"If you were any other man I would KILL YOU where you stand!"

-Lt. Cmdr. Worf; Star Trek First Contact

Dave: "No, no, no don't touch it...I was counting on this. They are bringin us in!"

Hiller: "Well when the hell was you gonna tell me?!?!"

Dave: "...oops"

-Independence Day

Command Master Chief: "Lieutenant O'Neill....seek life...else...where"

O'Neill: "Suck my dick!!"

- GI Jane

Stan: "Mason!! Are you alright???"

Mason: "Oh yes...PERFECTLY Ok you fu**ing idiot!!!"

***

Stan: "I don't...I don't know anything about you."

Mason: "Well I know something about you Godspell"

Stan: "Goodspeed!!"

Mason: "Oh Goodspeed, Godspeed, Godspell....you never went to any anti-terrorist school. So just make sure you don't get us all fu**in killed."

- The Rock

"...because this is the only pussy...you are going to get! Your days of fingerbanging miss Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are OVER!"

- Gunnery Sgt Hartman; Full Metal Jacket

Woman with child: "Hey, look who's here its Santa Claus...tell Santa what you want for Christmas"

'Santa' : "I'm on my fu**in lunch break alright?!?!"

***
Marcus: "What the hell do you mean 'get him outta here?'"

Gin: "Take him to the car!"

Marcus: "In case you didn't notice I'm a motherfu**ing dwarf, so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand, hmm?"

Gin: "That figures. You want all kind of set-asides. Special treatment 'cause you're handicapped. You're all the same.

Marcus: "Special treatment?! I'm 3-foot-fu**ing-tall you asshole! It's a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?"

Gin: "Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!"

Marcus: "Sketch it up, you fu**ing moron. Fu**ing Leonardo da Vinci."

Gin: "What'd you call me thigh-high?"

Marcus: "I called you a fu**ing guinea homo from the 15th-fu**ing-century, you dickhead!"

Gin: "I could stick you up my ass, small fry."

Marcus: "Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?"

Gin: "You got some lip on you midget."

Marcus: "Yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!"

- Bad Santa

[howard38]

From the Outlaw Josey Wales:

Bounty hunter: "I'm just trying to make a living"
Clint eastwood: "Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy"

From "Saving Private Ryan":

Ed Byrnes describing (the wrong) Private Ryan as he runs by: "Told you he was an asshole"

From "The Asphalt Jungle":

John Maxwell referring to the shot and fleeing Sterling Hayden: "There isn't enough blood left in him to keep a chicken alive".

[nolemmings]

Bob McKenzie, in Strange Brew
"I was the last one left after the nuclear holocaust, eh. The whole world had been destroyed, like U.S. blew up Russia and Russia blew up U.S. Fortunately, I had been offworld at the time. There wasn't much to do. All the bowling alleys had been wrecked. So I spent most of my time looking for beer."

[Tsaiko]

Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny... on every art book ever written. Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seeing that. If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman... and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably ah throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap... and watched him gasp his last breath lookin' to you for help. If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin' like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleepin' sittin' up in a hospital room... for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes... that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you. I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan, right? Do you think that I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been - how you feel, who you are - because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because - You know what? I can't learn anything from you... I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

Great writing and great delivery!

[Jantz]

Theres no crying in Baseball!

[Vol]

Describing Jesse..


Narrator: He was growing into middle age, and was living then in a bungalow on Woodland Avenue. He installed himself in a rocking chair and smoked a cigar down in the evenings as his wife wiped her pink hands on an apron and reported happily on their two children. His children knew his legs, the sting of his mustache against their cheeks. They didn't know how their father made his living, or why they so often moved. They didn't even know their father's name. He was listed in the city directory as Thomas Howard. And he went everywhere unrecognized and lunched with Kansas City shopkeepers and merchants, calling himself a cattleman or a commodities investor, someone rich and leisured who had the common touch. He had two incompletely healed bullet holes in his chest and another in his thigh. He was missing the nub of his left middle finger and was cautious, lest that mutilation be seen. He also had a condition that was referred to as "granulated eyelids" and it caused him to blink more than usual as if he found creation slightly more than he could accept. Rooms seemed hotter when he was in them. Rains fell straighter. Clocks slowed. Sounds were amplified. He considered himself a Southern loyalist and guerrilla in a Civil War that never ended. He regretted neither his robberies, nor the seventeen murders that he laid claim to. He had seen another summer under in Kansas City, Missouri and on September 5th in the year 1881, he was thirty-four-years-old.

[sox1903wschamp]

From my all-time fav comedy-Stripes

John Winger (Bill Murray):C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going into Wisconsin.

Russell Ziskey (Harold Ramis): Well I got the sh** kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!

[pariah1107]

From Repo-Man;

"Your not a communist are you? You'd better not be. I won't have any communists in my car..... and no Christians!"

[mayx2]

From: There was a crooked man
Setting is in an old west jail:
Kirk Douglas: If you want smokes you get'em from a guy called Tobakky,you want hard candy you get'em from a guy called sweets,well I wanna know,do you have a guy here name a Poontang?

[Gradedcardman]

I'm your huckleberry
Doc Holiday

[jrog007]

"Show me the money!" Jerry McGuire (Tom Cruise)

"You're gonna need a bigger boat." Jaws (Roy Schnieder)

"Here's Johnny!" The Shining (Jack Nicholson)

“You call that a knife? That’s not a knife. This is a knife.” Crocodile Dundee (Paul Hogan)

“Yippe-ki-yi-yay, Motherf***er.” Die Hard (Bruce Willis)

“Sucking all the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone.” Dead Poet's Society (Robin Williams)

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” City Slickers (Billy Crystal)

“I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner.” Silence of the Lambs (Anthony Hopkins)

“Every man dies. Not every man really lives.” Braveheart (Mel Gibson)

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.” Conan the Barbarian (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

“Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.” Uncle Buck (John Candy)

"I'm not looking for the best players, Craig. I'm looking for the right ones." Miracle (Kurt Russell)

"Maybe poker's just not your game, Ike. I know: let's have a spelling contest." Tombstone (Val Kilmer)

Johnny Ringo: My fight's not with you, Holliday.
Doc Holliday: I beg to differ, sir. We started a game we never got to finish. "Play for Blood," remember?
Johnny Ringo: Oh that. I was just foolin' about.
Doc Holliday: I wasn't.
Tombstone

Cafeteria Worker: Taco? Nacho? Burrito?
Orsten Artis: [Blank Stare]
Cafeteria Worker: Taco? Nacho? Burrito?
Orsten Artis: No, I'm looking for el hot dog-o.
Glory Road

"Aim small, miss small." Te Patriot (Mel Gibson)

"Is there no one else? Is there no one else?" Troy (Brad Pitt)

[bbcard1]

Not a dog. Not a wolf. All he knows is what he's not. Boris (Balto)

[Big Six]

Most of my favorite quotes from True Romance would need so much editing as to be not worth the effort...that said, great movie with a ton of great lines with the scene between Hopper and Walken amongst my favorites of all time...it all starts out with...

Vincenzo Coccotti: "We're gonna have a little Q&A, and at the risk of sounding redundant, please... make your answers genuine."

Also a big fan of The Princess Bride...if you've never scene it, a great movie that'll make you feel like a kid again...

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Count Rugen: Stop saying that!

[In the boat in the morning]
Inigo Montoya: He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.

Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.

Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way?

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

And my favorite...

[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

[toledo_mudhen]

Badges? We don't need no stinking badges....

[E93]

"You mean I'm the bad guy?" Falling Down (Michael Douglas)

JimB

[Republicaninmass]

"How you gonna put you finger in a dyke"

[wolfdogg]

Fletcher to the Senator is "The Outlaw Josey Wales".....and I quote:D

"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining":)

[nameless]

Predator:

"Run! Get to the chopper! "

"What's the matter? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils? Huh? Had enough?"

[TheBig6]

Oh, I got a helmet, Oh, I got a beauty
Jack Nicholson (Easy Rider)

From "The Last Detail" my favorite scene from my favorite Nicholson Movie.
Kinda obscure Nicholson Movie 1972
Only 2 min. clip, check it out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt1kK8gsag4

[Cat]

Does anyone know how to embed these quotes? I can on other boards but not this one.

#8 (Mississippi Leg Hound) has always cracked me up and #9 is pretty good too.


http://www.soundboard.com/sb/christmas_vacation.aspx

[JasonL]

"You don't know what's good for Bad!"

This movie was full of fun lines, but I thought that one was particularly deep.

[thescooper]

Theres no crying in baseball
(a league of their own)

[gashouse34]

Fletcher to the Senator is "The Outlaw Josey Wales".....and I quote:D

"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining":)

My favorite is from this movie as well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQt5WPQTwN0

"dying aint much of a living boy" is another favorite from this movie

[deebro041]

My dad's a TV repair man, he's got an ultimate set of tools, I can fix this.

[Kawika]

Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.

[Kawika]

Rock and roll's been going down hill ever since Buddy Holly died.

[quinnsryche]

All quotes from Goldmember:
"I've got sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads!" Dr. Evil
"I thought I smelled cabbage" Nigel Powers to Mini me
"Can I paint his yoohoo gold?" "How about no, you stupid Dutch bas*ard" -Goldmember & Dr. Evil
One of the funniest movies I have ever seen IMO

[brickyardkennedy]

"Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did!"

Groucho Marx, as "Rufus T. Firefly", exhorting his troops in defense of Mrs. Teasdale. (Margaret Dumont) in "Duck Soup". Allegedly an ad-lib, which caused Ms Dumont some confused discomfit.

[bobbyw8469]

"Snakes....Why did it have to be snakes" - Raiders of the Lost Ark"

"Yippee-ki-ya moth****er" - Die Hard

[Exhibitman]

Aporpos of Sylvester Stallone's induction yesterday into the International Boxing Hall of Fame:

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done--Rocky Balboa

Nothing is real if you don't believe in who you are--Rocky Balboa

Going in one more round when you don't think you can - that's what makes all the difference in your life--Rocky Balboa



Apollo Creed: You know, Stallion? It's too bad we gotta get old, huh?
Rocky Balboa: Ah, just keep punchin', Apollo

[rickybulldog50]

I enjoy some of the lines in 8 Men Out. The first one is by far my favorite.

The whole discussion is great, but here is the one I find the coldest.

Arnold Rothstein: Look, champ. I know guys like that. I grew up with them. I was the fat kid they wouldn't let play. "Sit down, fat boy'. That's what they'd say "Sit down, maybe you'll learn something." Well, I learned something alright. Pretty soon, I owned the game, and those guys I grew up with come to me with their hats in their hands.


Another

1st Cincinnati Reds Player: These guys don't look so tough.
2nd Cincinnati Reds Player: Yeah, that's what Custer said when the Indians took the field.

[Kawika]

Earth girls are easy.

[AndyG09]

"Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob."

-Crash Davis

[novakjr]

"When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!" - Harry Callahan